I sip my coffee as he slouches back, taking in what I’ve just said. ‘You’re right, of course,’ he replies eventually, placing his coffee cup on the ground. ‘But I’m still confused about one thing.’
‘What’s that?’
He places his hand on the back of my neck and pulls me into him.
‘If all of that is true,’ he asks, his lips almost touching mine, ‘then what the fuck are we doing?’
As he kisses me, I melt from the inside out. I have no idea what we’re doing but at that moment, all I know is that I’m not sure I want it to end.
CHAPTER27
The cold weather ensured our kiss outside was brief, yet long enough for us both to return to the main house with a sense of sexual urgency that was hard to shake off. We’ve already had sex four times since last night, but my body is virtually screaming for him to touch me again.
We sit side by side in our next workshop, our legs brushing against each other purposefully and I can tell by the look on Will’s face that he’s feeling just as hot and bothered as I am.
‘This will be our final affirmation session,’ Anna explains, smoothing down her red jumper, ‘but of course, we encourage you to affirm daily, on whatever you’re manifesting because although we’ve been concentrating on love, these skills are applicable to everything else – money, success, health, abundance; everything has a vibration.’
We open our notebooks at the previous affirmations we’ve written. As I look at Will’s page, he appears to have written nothing but drawn what looks like a cat with a human face.
‘If the previous affirmations still ring true, I want you to say these to yourself and really feel it,’ Anna says, bringing her hands up to her heart. ‘I attract love. I am love. I love and get love in return… truly believe it… and if you think you can improve or continue the momentum you already have in flow, then feel free to adjust as needed. I want you to leave here today, knowing that you are all of the things you have written.’
Will is already scrawling on the page.
I know I am hard.
I bite my lip and try not to grin like a maniac. He sighs and continues writing.
Stop biting your lip. That isn’t helping.
I want to laugh but the room is too quiet. Instead, I take my own notepad and reply:
Would it help if I told you I wasn’t wearing any underwear?
He raises his brow as his eyes automatically dart towards my crotch area. Unless he has X-ray vision, he’s going to have to take my word for it. I nod, letting him know I’m not lying.
He runs his hand through his hair before scrawling
I hate you.
My need to giggle is almost as overwhelming as my need to jump Will’s bones. I’m forced to face the window and pretend to contemplate the universe, while I hear him take a deep breath. We have thirty minutes before lunch, plenty of time to calm down and behave like grown-ups.
I go back to my affirmation notes, but they don’t resonate.
I am loved.
I am in a happy, fulfilling relationship.
I draw love to me.
Truth be told, at this moment in time, love and relationship pronouncements aren’t my focus. Something is changing in me. Finally, it feels like something has begun to spark.
I draw two lines under my love affirmations and start a new list:
I am desirable.
I am shameless.
I am filthy.
