Before I have a chance to grab Will, Jillian pulls me to one side.
‘I have a dress for you,’ she says, pouring some liquid into her vape. ‘It doesn’t suit me since I went red. but it’ll look great on you. You’re a size fourteen, right?’
‘Yes… but why do I need a dress?’
‘For the end-of-bootcamp party, silly,’ she replies. ‘I heard you say you only brought one dress and, well, you can’t wear that again, can you? No offence but it’s the kind of thing you’d wear to an office party… or a wake. I’ll drop it in to you.’
I’m not given the option of saying no because she’s already halfway down the path, disappearing in a cloud of vape smoke like an appallingly assertive magician.
Will is waiting for me by the door, yawning like a man who desperately needs his bed.
‘Jillian is giving me a dress for tonight,’ I inform him. ‘I think I’ve become an outreach programme since my stint in shopping rehab.’
‘What’s it like?’ he asks curiously. ‘I only ask because she dresses a bit like Helena Bonham Carter.’
‘What’s wrong with that?’ I ask, ready to defend my hero.
‘Nothing,’ he replies. ‘But maybe “retro scarecrow” isn’t for everyone?’
‘Works OK for you.’
He stops in his tracks and takes out his phone. ‘999? Yes, I’d like to report a massive burn.’
I laugh as we continue walking but cannot help wondering if he has a point. Jillian is a little eccentric. And at least fifteen years older. Oh well, if the dress is hideous, I’ll just tell her it doesn’t fit.
‘That was some speech in there,’ he says, elbowing me. ‘Did you mean what you said?’
‘Which part? About being forty? Yes, I’m afraid it’s true.’
He elbows me again. ‘No… you know… the part about meeting people youadore?’
‘I did. Nish is totally adorable. I must adopt him when I get home.’
‘Oh, good,’ he replies, dimples on display. ‘I thought for a second you might have been talking about me. Phew! Huge relief.’
I elbow him back. ‘Never, you’re awful.’
‘I really am.’
Without warning, Will pulls me into the undergrowth at the end of the path, pushing me against an oak tree. As he presses up against me, his breath on my neck, I hear voices passing by, obviously oblivious to us being here. I feel giddy.
‘I seem to remember something about not wearing any underwear,’ he says, his hand wandering inside my trousers.
‘Will, I’m not shagging here, there are folk ten feet away!’
‘Who said anything about shagging?’
I’m not sure which part is more exhilarating: being finger banged harder than I have been in twenty years, or when he covers my mouth with his hand to quieten me as I come.
Afterwards, we grab some lunch and walk back to our respective cabins to change for the afternoon yoga class. I’m barely inside for ten minutes when Will appears at my patio window.
‘You’re not changed?’ I remark, opening the door. ‘We only have twenty minutes left.’
He steps inside and closes the door behind him.
‘Yoga is cancelled,’ he says, taking a seat.
‘Really? Who cancelled it?’
