At half past ten, I text Faith and Charlie to let them know I’m leaving, while throwing my breakfast rubbish in the outside bin. One last check that I haven’t forgotten anything, then I lift the handle on my suitcase and wheel it out behind me. Despite my reluctance to come here in the first place, I’m so very glad I did. This might have been the place I fell for Will, but this was also the place I finally fell forme. I smile to myself, closing the door behind me.
‘Morning.’
‘Jesus, Will!’ I drop my car keys on the doormat. ‘You scared me. Again!’
‘Last one for old times’ sake. Promise.’
He remains standing by my car as I pick up my keys and walk towards him, my suitcase grinding like an armoured tank as it scrapes across the gravel. His own car is parked beside mine, the engine already running. He’s obviously not planning on staying long.
‘I thought we weren’t doing this,’ I say. ‘Last night—’
‘I know,’ he replies sheepishly. ‘But, well, here I am… Steal anything good?’
‘Huh?’
He gestures towards my case.
‘Oh. Only Nish,’ I reply. ‘He’s heavier than he looks.’
Will takes my case and loads it into the boot of my car. He’s smiling, but I can tell he’s trying as hard as I am not to make this any more difficult than it needs to be.
‘So, you’re heading back to Edinburgh now?’ he asks, leaning on the car. ‘All checked out?’ He seems as reluctant to say goodbye as I am.
I nod. ‘Yeah. I want to get back for Charlie. I’ve really missed her. You?’
‘Not really, I’ve never met her.’
The burst of laughter is a welcome relief but dissolves any barriers or hope we had of keeping our feelings in check. I lean against the car beside him.
‘Yeah, back to Brighton for me,’ he says. ‘Back to the real world.’
His voice trails off. I know what he’s inferring but I don’t respond. He kicks the gravel near my feet and sighs.
‘Fuck, Nora. I mean…’
‘I know,’ I respond as he struggles to find the words. I feel my bottom lip begin to tremble. I stare at the ground, gripping my car keys in my pocket to steady myself. ‘It’s fine. Just bad timing.’
‘Horrible timing,’ he mumbles. ‘Fucking horrible.’
I rest my head against his shoulder, quietly seething. The universe can piss off. If this was its plan, it’s a cruel one.
Will senses my wrath and nudges me lightly. ‘In another life, then?’
I smirk reluctantly. ‘Yep, another life.’ I let go of my keys and place my hand beside his. ‘One where I’m better dressed.’
As he quietly laughs, I feel his fingers brush against mine before they finally interlock. I don’t want to let him go. But it’s time.
‘Be happy, Nora.’
‘You too, Will.’
He gives my hand a squeeze before he pulls away. I briskly wipe the tears from my eyes while he walks over to his own car. I am not going to lose it.
Heart in my throat, I watch him get into the driver’s seat and fasten his belt. I open my door and pause, trying to catch my breath.
Chin up, Nora. Get in the car, turn on the engine and drive. If Will can do this, so can you.
But Will isn’t coping any better than I am. I see him press his head against the steering wheel before shouting the word ‘Fuck!’ so loudly I can hear it through the glass. He sits for a second before unbuckling his seat belt.
