I see tears forming again but it’s different this time. She takes my hand and wraps her fingers around mine.
‘Then I don’t understand why we—’
‘Because around me, you can’t think clearly,’ I reply. ‘And perhaps I’m the same with you. All I want to do is make you happy, but you’re wrong about me. I don’t know whoIam. I only know who I am with you. And maybe that’s not enough. Look, I’m not suggesting we start dividing assets or even telling anyone; god knows that’s not a conversation I’m ready to have with my parents. I just think some time apart would be for the best. We both need it.’
She lowers her head. ‘I’ll move into an Airbnb for a bit,’ she suggests. ‘Just while we figure things out. You stay in the flat, it’s closer to your school.’
‘You sure?’
She nods.
I let go of her hand and start the car.
2007
Kate
‘I don’t understand why they’re making us do this,’ I say to Mum. ‘It’s like a hillbilly nightmare.’
‘Nonsense, it’ll be fun!’ Mum insists, pulling at the fringing on my skirt. ‘You’re always complaining that the Christmas discos are lame, maybe this year will be better.’
I highly doubt it. Previous school Christmas discos were completely awful, but at least they weren’t playing Country and Western music and making us dress up like bloody cowboys. A Christmas hoedown. Really? I need to find a new school.
‘I bet this was Lindsay Templeton’s mum’s idea,’ I say, glaring at myself in the mirror. ‘She’s on the parent council, she always wears denim and they live on a farm. Guaranteed she came up with this.’
Mum smiles. ‘I wouldn’t call a few chickens a farm, but you might be right. I’ve heard she’s quite active on the committee. One of the reasons I’m not. There. . . All done.’
She stands to the side while I slowly die inside. Never in my fifteen years on earth did I think I’d be wearing a fringed denim skirt, a blue plaid shirt tied at the waist and cowboy boots.
‘Your hair looks so cute!’ Mum squeals. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to wear the cowboy hat? You suit hats.’
I’ll admit that my hair does look kind of cute. Two chunkyplaits, with little loose curls down either side. ‘No to the hat,’ I insist. ‘I think the skirt fringing and the gun holster are more than enough humiliation for one evening.’
I hear a loud knock on the door downstairs. ‘Gubba,’ I yell. ‘Can you let Ed in?’
Mum fusses with the fringing again until I physically shoo her away.
‘Ed’s picking you up for the dance?’ she asks, raising an eyebrow. ‘How very gentlemanly of him. . .’
Oh god, there’s that look. I wish she wouldn’t do that. It’s so embarrassing.
‘Mum, he always comes in for me on the way to school. This is no different, so you can stop with the suspicious eyebrows. There’s no gossip here.’
‘I was only asking,’ she replies, now smirking. ‘I mean, you do spend a lot of time together, I was—’
‘I’m leaving now,’ I say, feeling my face start to burn which only makes her presume she’s correct. Which she isn’t. We are not awe. Not that I wouldn’t like to be awe, but Ed’s never given me any sign that he likes me in that way. Besides, I’m certain he likes Jenny Parker. Lauren said she passed him a note in class and then she saw her coming out of his house. If I ever get murdered, I want Lauren to investigate.
I head downstairs and see Ed standing with Gubba, smiling politely as she tells him about a school dance she attended four hundred years ago. I start to giggle.
‘Don’t you laugh,’ Ed warns, trying to keep a straight face. ‘I already want to throw myself into the River Styx.’
‘That shirt!’ I exclaim. ‘It’s hideous! It’s perfect! Where did you find it?’
Ed’s wearing a brown shirt with huge white flowers on the shoulders and white fringing running from the shoulders to the chest, tucked into his jeans which look just a little too tight.
‘Charity shop in Sheffield,’ he replies, suddenly looking happier with himself. ‘Six quid to look this stupid. Bargain.’
‘I was just telling Ed about the time we had our school dance in the village square,’ Gubba interjects. ‘Impossible trying to feel up your honey, with half the parents and the vicar looking on.’
