CHAPTER12
With Aiden unpacking upstairs, Tara watched Erin bustle around the patio table, making sure every piece of cutlery was in the correct position, every napkin was folded and everything capable of being blown away by the breeze was secured in place. Tara had offered to help, they all had, but Erin had graciously refused, determined to be the perfect host.
Tara remembered the patio area as being a large, grey slabbed space with a couple of potted plants and a small table and chairs where she’d parked herself and smoked as many cigarettes as possible over graduation weekend. Now it looked like something fromHomes & Gardens.It was covered in white tiles, with pale grey couches at either side of a fire pit to the left, and a dining area to the right with a long table which could easily seat ten. She could imagine Erin hosting dinners and entertaining guests, while she herself was barely able to work a microwave.
‘So, what are you doing with yourself these days?’ Erin asked. ‘I think last I heard you were in America.’
‘I was in New York. I worked in media sales. The bonuses were ridiculous, I made a small fortune. I do think the accent gave me an edge, you know? They love a bit of Irish.’
Erin smiled. ‘I’m sure. It sounds very exciting though, good for you. Are you still there?’
Tara scrunched her nose. ‘Nah. It started to bore me, so I moved to London last year. Doing a bit of freelance at the mo.’
Tara thought about telling Erin the real reason she left. How her shitshow of a life had led to her wake up one morning, book a ticket to London and leave everything behind except her passport, laptop and mobile phone. Turned out that drugs and stress weren’t exactly a winning combination. When she checked herself into rehab two days later, she didn’t even have a toothbrush. But perhaps now was not a good time. She didn’t know if there ever would be. As much as she felt like she had a handle on things now, the shame of it all was still very much present.
‘I don’t think I could live in New York,’ Erin replied. ‘It’s a fun place, but I prefer the quiet. Kerry girl at heart, I suppose. I hate it when I have to go away on long shoots.’
‘But you must get lonely out here,’ Tara said, while Erin filled the breadbaskets. ‘I mean, especially since your husband passed away.’
‘Scott,’ Erin informed her, somewhat relieved that he was being spoken about directly. She paused for a moment to consider Tara’s question.
‘I do’ she answered. ‘I guess that’s part of the reason I’m selling up. It was a big house for two anyway, so sometimes I feel like I’m rattling around in here, but I have Jasper at least.’ She glanced at her cat who was happily stretched out in the evening sun. ‘I have a really great pet sitter who stays here if we’re… if I’m working away. Not that I do much of that at the moment.’
‘I’ve never had a pet,’ Tara said, watching Jasper with amusement. ‘Was never that into animals. But he’s very cute.’
‘Sure, he’s cute until he brings home presents…’
Tara frowned. ‘Ah, Jesus! What, like mice?’
‘Mice, birds, the odd rat. Usually alive and very hard to catch. Scott was chief bird wrangler. Does Aiden like animals?’
‘He’s a vet, so I hope so,’ Tara replied, grinning.
Erin stopped rearranging the condiments. ‘You’re dating a vet? I so never saw that coming. Honestly thought you would end up with a musician or some indie, activist movie director, you know, someone a bit less domesticated. I don’t think I remember any of your old boyfriends even being housebroken.’
Tara laughed, but truthfully, she had expected to end up with someone a little rowdier too. It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried, but the reality of those musicians and indie artists wasn’t as exciting as she thought it would be. They left her emptier than she’d been before she met them. But Aiden… Aiden was reliable. He was good-looking, kind and he just let her get on with things. No arguments, no jealousy, he was a good, stable, guy for a somewhat unstable girl.
‘The heart wants what the heart wants, I guess,’ she replied. ‘And right now, my heart wants this beautiful view.’
She envied Erin’s home, much more now than she had all those years ago. Back then she didn’t yearn for sea-view patio areas or private parking, nor did she give seclusion a second thought because she was determined to live in the centre of everything. Be part of it all. Live life in an apartment with traffic on either side and a view over a multicultural city which would be humming with activity twenty-four hours a day, and where everything she would need would be within walking distance. But she’d had all that in New York and it was nothing like she hoped for. Now, seeing Erin potter about Loughview, she found herself longing for even just a smidge of what Erin had.
* * *
‘And if you look to the left, you’ll see a lough, the name of which, right now, completely escapes me…’ Alex paused to watch Becky grab a cardigan from her room.
‘Lough Currane,’ Becky informed them, popping her head around the door. ‘Gorgeous view from up here, isn’t it, Aiden? I must show Christine, she loves a good sunset.’
‘Great idea,’ Alex agreed, watching Becky vanish back downstairs and into the living room.
‘Well, this is insane,’ she whispered. ‘Completely insane.’
Aiden nodded, his eyes still fixed on the view that Alex was pretending to educate him on while everyone else got ready for dinner.
‘She said it was a family gathering…’ he mumbled. ‘I thought grannies and cousins… not this. This is—’
‘Insane,’ Alex repeated. He nodded again.
They both stood silently for a moment, just staring out of the top-floor window. Alex hoped that if she stood there long enough, it might reverse time. The confusion was almost as strong as the guilt she felt for unknowingly flirting with her friend’s boyfriend.
