Sam’s reads, ‘Really want a girlfriend so I have someone to sing the female parts in songs instead of me trying to hit the high notes like a total loser.’
Sam, forty-one, London, looks like Adam Driver, if Adam Driver had blond hair and ear gauges. I’m not particularly a fan of gaping earlobes but I’ll need somewhere to hook my hanging baskets in summer, so I’ll overlook it. Fighting against my instinct to nitpick isn’t easy but I need to keep an open mind. He made me laugh so that’s a good place to start.
He quickly sends me a message, which saves me from having to dig deep to come up with something intelligent and witty, like ‘Hi!’. I click on the message.
Hi.
I see that Sam dug deep too.
Cards on the table, this is the first and last dating site I’ll ever use. In fact, I was going to delete my account until I came across your profile.
I smile. I like a straightforward man. A man who isn’t horrified by my photos is also a bonus.
This is my first app, too! No success so far then? Maybe you should have signed up for more than one? I assume that most men do.
Lol, no. I cannot multitask. Anyway, I have a question for you if you’re up for it? I think it’s a good way of discovering any red flags early on. If you were stuck on a desert island, what three things would you bring?
I ever so slightly roll my eyes. This is the kind of pointless shit they ask in team bonding sessions or group job interviews. I’ve never understood what it reveals about a person, other than their desire to bring their iPhone to a chargeless environment.
I reply.
A volleyball.
A dentist.
Salvageable Fed-Ex packages.
He responds with a preprepared answer.
A boat.
A boat captain.
I like your answer better.
