He sipped the water until the coughs subsided.
‘I felt too ashamed to tell the shrink I was just trying to keep up with Jess – to impress her – although God knows why. She’s crazy. Why has it taken me so long to figure that out?’
‘Is that a rhetorical question?’
‘I’m genuinely stumped.’
‘It’s not rocket science. You were besotted. From the moment you met her. It happens to the best of us.’
‘But you’ve been here for me all along. Why couldn’t I see what was right in front of me?’
Another rhetorical question, but this time I didn’t trust myself to answer him.
He shuffled upright so he was almost sitting. ‘You’re wonderful, Frixie. Do you know that?’
‘You’re not so bad yourself.’
‘I’m being serious, Zoë. I realise now what I should have realised years ago. I love you. Iloveyou.’
I couldn’t breathe. Was it the drugs talking?
‘I’m not sure you’re quite yourself right now.’
He sat further upright and grasped my hand with both of his. ‘Is there still a chance for us?’
A nurse bustled in before I could reply.
‘Back in bed, Mr Baxter. No exerting yourself.’
‘I’m not exerting myself,’ he told her. ‘I’m in love.’
I blushed as red as my dress.
‘Well, congratulations,’ she said, looking from him to me. ‘You make a lovely couple.’ I pulled at a stray thread on the seam of my dress while she took his pulse. She tutted and I looked up. ‘Still a bit weak. Probably better if you got some rest, Mr Baxter. You’ll have lots of time to see your girlfriend when you’re released tomorrow morning.’
Simon looked at me expectantly.
I nodded. ‘Of course. Rest now and I’ll see you tomorrow.’ I left before he asked me to answer his other question.
*
I got a black cab and was home just after 2 a.m. I slipped off my heels and wandered into my kitchen feeling dazed.
What an evening. Was I losing my grip on reality or had two men actually declared their feelings for me? Honestly, it was like waiting for a bloody bus.
Nick’s declaration felt like a week ago, or like something from a dream.
Guilt niggled me. I shouldn’t have walked out on him like that. It was too late to ring him to apologise, but should I send a text? I found my phone and scrolled to his number.
My thumb hovered over his name. What on earth would I say? I’d sleep on it. Maybe the right words would come to me tomorrow.
I got undressed and threw on the old oversized T-shirt I slept in. I padded to the bathroom and attacked my make-up with cotton wool and make-up remover.
Why was I thinking about Nick?
After all these years, Simon had finally told me what I’d so longed to hear. Surely that should have been uppermost on my mind.
So why wasn’t it?
