Page 75 of Ballrooms & Blackmail

Pascal drops beside me on the couch, and if it wasn’t for the soft chime of the elevator announcing his arrival, I wouldn’t have heard him at all.

“So, you went and fucked it, huh?” he says.

I stare out the windows and don’t bother answering.

I didn’t just fuck it. I went and nuked it.

“Did any of what I said penetrate that stubborn ass brain of yours?”

It did.

Oh, it did.

And as fucked as it is, Violet getting sick made it even more clear.

I couldn’t protect a cat, couldn’t protect?—

I shove the name away, brutally rein in my emotions. The bottom line is that I can’t protect River.

So I whatever we had? It needed to be done.

“She’s better off without me,” I say into the silence.

“Well, that’s for damned sure,” Pascal mutters. “But that’s hardly the point now, isn’t it?”

Aghast, I turn to stare at him, gaping at the outline of his profile as he stares out the windows. “Hardly the point?” I rasp.

He looks at me, his eyes piercing into mine. “You’re sitting here brooding in the dark, thinking about how bad you are for her, how dangerous it could be to bring her into your life. You’re thinking about all the shit you’ve done to survive and what Sergio and the other Lyons may do to someone you care about?—”

Love, I want to say. To someone I love.

But that’s not the most important part.

“Not may,” I snap. “Will. They’ll hurt her. You know they will.”

He sighs. “You’re not wrong. Given the opportunity, they will exploit whatever means necessary to get what they want.”

Soft souls. Family connections. Love. Humanity.

Or a chef’s menu of all of the above.

“So why are we having this conversation?” I toss up my hands. “I’m not going to be a selfish asshole, and let that shit consume River’s life.”

He scoffs, shakes his head. “She’s in it already, Thorn. She’s connected to Brooks and Briar, and she’s connected to you. If you think putting some distance between you and her is going to make Sergio and the others back off then you’re sorely mistaken.”

I know.

I’ve already thought of that.

It’s why I did it today, why I know I’m an even bigger asshole than everyone already thinks I am.

Violet’s sick.

I blame River and break up with her.

I look like an asshole, but at least she’s safe.

“It’s not distance,” I say. “We’re done.”