Page 98 of Ballrooms & Blackmail

My chest tightens. “It’s not safe,” I say—another wrong thing.

Because she already knows how dangerous the world can be.

Intimately.

She laughs—a short, humorless sound. “I’m as safe here as I am anywhere.”

That’s true, and it means that I’m left wondering what to say.

Fuck, I’m always left wondering what to say when I’m with this woman.

“It’s cold,” I blurt.

“I have a jacket.”

I snort. “That can hardly be considered a jacket.”

She scowls. “Seriously?”

“It’s thin and doesn’t even fully cover your arms.”

“It’s the middle of summer. It was almost ninety degrees today.”

“It also rained.”

A roll of her eyes before she looks back into the darkness. “Thanks for breaking down the weather for me.”

Sighing, I lean back against the railing, ask softly, “Can we to talk about it, little hen?”

Her shoulders go stiff. “I don’t know. Can we?”

I rub a hand across my jaw, unsure where to start, and as I struggle, the silence stretches and grows heavy.

Eventually, River turns away from me, staring out over the dark gardens again.

And I…just stare at her.

She must feel the weight of my gaze because she turns back, brows dragging together. “What?” she asks sharply.

I hesitate. Then decide honesty has to start somewhere. “I miss you.”

River shakes her head and laughs in disbelief. “You miss me?”

“Yes, little hen.”

“Great,” she snaps. “Now go away and leave me alone.”

“But…you love me.”

A sigh before she turns back, her eyes sad. “Yes,” she murmurs. “Yes, I do.” Her voice drops even further, so low I have to strain to hear it. “And you love me too.”

Every cell in my body goes tense.

Then I admit, “Yes.”

Her eyes shine briefly. Then harden. “And yet somehow we’re still standing here with the weight of your past between us.”

I move closer.