“Been with anyone else since you?” John asked, knowingly.
“Yeah.”
“No,” he replied, not sure why that made him feel nervous again.
Lawson’s eyes darkened, and he reached for the zipper on John’s sweater, slowly pulling it down off his shoulders and arms. He wasn’t used to someone undressing him or wanting to take care of him, yet Lawson insisted, even moving John’s hands away to pull his shirt off and toss it into the pile of clothes at the foot of the bed. He was a shivering mess by the time Lawson was done.
His pale eyes assessed the dark purple bruise on his chest, frowning. “Does it hurt?”
“Not so much,” he admitted. “Maybe just don’t jump on it.”
Lawson smiled, “You’re funny when you’re tired.”
He fucking shivered again and sighed.
Lawson led him into the fancy bathroom in their room. It had a large, luxurious shower with granite marble tiles, a black showerhead, and see-through glass doors. It was more than spacious enough for both men. He was looking forward to the shower, but especially now with Lawson.
He watched as the young man slipped out of his jeans and boxers, gloriously naked under the soft glow of the bathroom light.
Last time, John didn’t get to appreciate his body as much as he would’ve liked. Now, he took his fill, gaze sweeping over the rippling muscles of his chest and abdomen. Lawson clearly worked out, and his body was proof of his discipline. He was stunning, especially the sharp lines that descended to the apex of his sex. His skin was pale but not overly so, as though it still managed to cling to the summer rays it had gotten months ago.
Lawson was beautiful, with riveting blue eyes that were far too perceptive at times. His lips were pouty, soft, and perfect. John felt self-conscious about his body by comparison. And seeing Lawson in all his virile athletic glory was really inspiring him to get his tired ass back into the gym.
Lawson was catnip to everyone who fell under his spell at work with his easy charm, polite manners, and boyishly handsome good looks. But he wasn’t a hot head ego-manic like some of the other residents he’d had been forced to endure over the years. Lawson was humble, kind, and comfortable enough to ask for help.
So, why the hell is he interested in me?
“Have you?” John asked, tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth.
“Have I been with anyone else since you?” Lawson reached for him again, bringing John’s hands to his flat stomach, feeling the hot skin beneath his fingers as Lawson proceeded to untie John’s scrubs from around his waist.
“You know what, never mind,” John muttered in a rush. “I don’t want to know.”
“I haven’t,” Lawson replied gently. “Just you.”
Just you.
Goosebumps erupted over his arms, and an odd tingling washed over his chest, but he ignored his body’s reactions, letting his hands explore what his eyes already had, traveling upward over Lawson’s chest. “Why not? You know every nurse and some doctors have the hots for you.”
Lawson seemed uninterested in this conversation and leaned in to kiss John’s neck, releasing a sigh as he did so, as though he had been holding himself back this entire time from doing it. “So…?”
“So…” He felt Lawson’s lips begin to suck the sensitive place beneath his ear. “You can have anyone. Be with anyone.”
Lawson pulled back from his slow, hungry kiss at his neck. “Are you saying you’d prefer me sucking on Dr. Samuels’s neck?”
He released a strangled laugh, refusing to imagine that as he shook his head, “No.”
Fuck, he wasn’t prepared for Lawson.
He wasn’t prepared for any of this.
Something felt different with him than from last time. Everything about Lawson was different for him, and he wasn’t sure he could handle it.
He could barely handle his own emotions lately. He thought about how easy it had been for him to have a complete breakdown at the drop of a hat, or to stand numbly in the shower at home for over an hour, dissociating, before dragging himself to bed and passing out. He had stopped drinking, thinking that would help. But it didn’t. His emotions were on high alert, crippling him in unexpected moments, and he didn’t understand why.
Well, he did.
He just didn’t want to admit he was burnt out. Or maybe it was depression. Probably both. Whatever it was, he was fucking angry and stressed, and that cycle spun him out daily.
