So to have Lawson, this incredible man with magical hands, slowly getting to his knees, helping him out of his pants and boxers, fingers skimming over the back of John’s legs and over his ass, face nuzzling his cock before…
“Fuck…” he groaned.
Lawson’s hot wet mouth enveloped him, sucking him down lazily, dragging his mouth over him and grazing his head with his teeth. He didn’t have to ask, Lawson just gave. He wanted to give, and that was utterly foreign to John.
John gave everything to everyone all the time.
And some days, it was never enough. And those days were the hardest of all.
Lawson was so damned good at giving effortlessly.
His mouth…
Oh. Fuck.
“Lawson,” John exhaled a long breath, already panting, feeling the swirl of emotion battling for release in his chest. “You’re… oh fuck… you’re so good…”
The intensity of Lawson’s gaze and the sudden wave of unexpected emotion slammed into him.
No, not now!
He reached blindly over to the shower knob and turned it on. He lifted Lawson upward, dragging them into the shower together, the water slicking and heating their bodies. Lawson’s piercing gaze surveyed him, as though looking for something. John intentionally ignored the concern reflected there and kissedhim, hard. Lawson hesitated a mere second before giving in, and they greedily took what they both wanted from each other. John moved his hands over his jawline and neck, tracing the layered slopes of his defined back, loving the way their bodies seemed to fit together.
Lawson pushed his tongue inside John’s mouth, caging him against the wall of the shower. Their tongues clashed and battled. His cock hardened painfully between his legs at the torrid, wild kissing. Lawson tasted like whiskey, smoke, and apple. He wanted to taste more. So much more.
John began to move to his knees when Lawson shook his head, pinning him to the wall. He shot him a questioning look, and Lawson licked over his lower lip, sucking it in. “If you get down on your knees and I see my cock in your mouth…” Lawson groaned, pushing his demanding cock into John's stomach, “I will come in two seconds.”
John let out a whooshing breath and nodded, unable to form words.
“I need to touch you,” Lawson said, reaching for the hotel shampoo and massaging it into John’s chest, careful of the bruise as he worked his way up to his shoulders.
His body responded the way it did every time Lawson touched him—subdued and compliant, surrendering one muscle at a time. Lawson hummed low from the back of his throat, looking incredibly pleased, even smiling. “I love watching you do that.”
John’s eyes blinked open, head tilted back against the shower, letting Lawson go to work on him. “Do what?”
“Give me everything you can’t. But you fight it.”
John was surprised, and yet he knew he shouldn’t be.
Lawson, from day one, saw things about others—understood patients without words.
“How do you do that?” John heard himself ask.
Lawson seemed to understand the question and stroked his fingers up and down his neck, moving over the sensitive tendons. “I spent my whole life around horses. Creatures that only communicated through nonverbal cues. People are very similar. We say more with our faces and our bodies than we sometimes do with our words. Especially you.”
He swallowed, and Lawson watched his throat bob and felt his shoulders tense.
“Want me to tell you what I see when I look at you?” Lawson asked.
“Fuck, probably not.”
Lawson smirked, “You’ve been a bit of a challenge, Dr. Donnelly.” He rubbed and soothed the frozen shoulder as he spoke. “I know you want me. I saw it that night, but you denied me. I watch your shoulders tense whenever you walk into the ED, but you never seem to take a day off. I know you’re tired and… raw, like an open wound.”
He clenched his jaw, refusing to show how close Lawson was to the truth.
“And you do that when you’re fighting with yourself,” Lawson commented, eyeing his jawline. “You have something to say, but you’re holding back—why? What are you afraid of?”
The nerve Lawson had been dancing around finally struck, and the steel wall inside John came down with a swift bang. He grabbed his wrist, squeezing him. “First rule, none of this.”
