“What?”
“We’re here for one thing, let’s keep it that way. Keep it simple. I don’t wanna talk…”
Lawson’s eyebrows shot upward, the hot spray of the shower wetting and darkening his dirty blond hair. “I don’t know if I like that rule.”
“Then this stops now.”
Lawson reached for the hand gripping his wrist, eyes locked with his. “I don’t think I can.”
“Lawson,” John attempted, but the young man continued to rub, pressing him against the wall, the shower slickening them. “I need...”
“Control?” he offered flippantly, flicking his wrist downward and off him, arching his hips into him, making John feel everything. Lawson’s hard, smooth body and thick, wonderful cock spearing into him. He nearly whimpered.
God, I’m pathetic.
I can’t say no.
I’m weak for how good this feels.
For his touch…
“Order,” John croaked, attempting in vain to control this situation.
“Same thing,” Lawson retorted.
“It’s not,” he snapped, and sighed, scrubbing a hand over his wet beard. “I’m not ruining my reputation for a fling, Lawson. So, if you can’t respect what I’m asking for—”
Lawson’s fingers were rubbing so deeply that he winced, and his chin jerked out, sucking a hard breath.
“I’ll respect your damn rules, Donnelly,” Lawson’s grip eased over the sensitive tendon. “But on two conditions.”
Relief clutched in his chest, watching the water trickle over Lawson’s freshly shaved cheeks, down his tanned neck. All he wanted to do was forget this conversation and trace the water running down the cowboy’s body with his tongue. The pulse between his legs flared and he licked his lips, fighting himself, demanding discipline and patience. Something he was normally good at, but right now, with Lawson’s cock sliding against his, he was slowly losing control.
And a part of him wanted to. To surrender to the tension between them and be absolutely fucking reckless. To explode in passion and desire.
“I want more than tonight,” Lawson whispered, the shower steam rising between them, surrounding them in a hazy wall of heat. “And no one else fucks you but me.”
John stared, stunned by the avalanche of his words crashing over him.
Fuck.
The possessiveness in his tone unhinged something primal inside him. Almost animalistic. Except that more nights like this were dangerous. He couldn’t afford to get close to someone else. It took too much from him. It hurt too much when they left. Because everyone who ever mattered to him left in the end. He watched countless souls over the course of his career say goodbye too soon. And he already said goodbye to his best friend, his brother, and now his father…
He wasn’t interested in experiencing more pain.
Besides, Lawson was young, practically screaming with sexual prowess and virility. He’d have his fun and fill with him and be done in a few weeks, maybe a month. And John would be left with nothing, right back where he started, and maybe even worse off.
He felt the door open in his soul once more, the empty void.
He shivered despite the heat from the shower and the feel of Lawson against him.
“Can you give me that?” Lawson asked quietly, his fingers reaching for his jawline, tracing through his beard, watching him consider his answer.
“I’ll think about it,” he said, closing the door mentally, returning to this moment.
“You asked me to follow your rules, Donnelly. I need your answer by tonight.”
“I can’t give you that.”
