“Not if she was your friend!” I exclaim. “Because I trust that even if this girl has a thing for you, you don’t have a thing for her because you’re with me.”
“So, youdothink Oliver has a thing for you,” she interjects, crossing her arms over her chest.
“No!” I shout before remembering we’re in public. A few patrons at nearby tables give us curious looks, so I rein myself in. “No, I don’t,” I say more quietly. “I’m just saying that even if he did, it wouldn’t matter because we’re supposed to trust each other.”
Nikki glares at the bread basket in front of us. “You’re making it very difficult to do that.”
“To trust me?” I ask.
Her gaze bounces across the table. “Yeah.”
“But, I don’t understand,” I press. “Am I not allowed to have guy friends because you don’t trust men?”
“You’re not supposed towantguy friends because they suck,” she mutters.
“Well, Oliver doesn’t suck,” I snap. “Neither does Max. Or Theo, or Vimlesh. It’s not fair for you to expect me to hate all men just because you do.”
“This is who I am, Jude. If you can’t accept that, then maybe—” she halts, squeezing her eyes shut.
Before she can finish, our server returns with our entrees. I do my best to keep a neutral expression, but tears are already pricking the backs of my eyes, and a lump is forming in my throat.
“Let’s talk about this later,” Nikki says after the server walks away. “There’s no reason we shouldn’t enjoy our meals.”
I stare at my pan-seared scallops and risotto, my appetite completely decimated. Are we breaking up? Does Nikki honestly expect me to eat if we’re breaking up? My stomach growls loudly in protest.
“Hey,” Nikki whispers.
Reluctantly, I spare a glance up at her.
“I’m sorry. We’re going to figure this out, okay?” Her foot brushes against my pant leg under the table. “I really, really like you, Jude. I’m willing to fight to keep you. So let’s eat some amazing food, talk this through at my place, and then… you know.”
I take a breath, in and out. I don’t have the same confidence as she does about how the night will go, but I should at least try not to waste such a nice dinner. “Okay,” I reply.
Nikki smiles and picks up her fork. “Okay. Let’s eat.”
An hour later, back at Nikki’s apartment, I’m a bundle of nerves. My scallops were delicious, but I can’t stop worrying they might make a comeback if we start fighting again. At the same time, I know we can’t leave things as they were before dinner arrived.
The only question now is who will break the ice.
“Hey, do you want some wine?” Nikki asks from the kitchen. “I’ve got some Riesling that one of my friends bought for me. It’s a lot sweeter than I usually like, but it’s not bad.”
“No thanks,” I mutter, awkwardly wringing my hands alone on the couch. If I have wine, I’m almost positive I’ll throw up.
When Nikki joins me on the couch with her wineglass, she sighs. “So, I guess we should finish our conversation from before.”
I nod.
“I’m not saying you’re not allowed to have guy friends,” Nikki says, slowly and carefully. “It’s just certain guys that give me the ick.”
“I’m not going to stop being Oliver’s friend,” I say flatly.
Nikki hums, then takes a sip of her wine. “And that’s non-negotiable?”
I scoff, frustration rising again. “Yes.”
“And there’s no way we can find a compromise?”
“Nikki, what?—”
