you’re not answering your phone
I was a real bitch last night and I want to apologize
Jude?
please baby I’m really sorry and I want to see you
I can’t come in unless you let me
Jude, please
I spent all last night and this morning locked away in my bedroom, wallowing in my own misery. My phone has been buzzing with texts and calls all morning, but I’ve ignored them. I was supposed to spend the night with Nikki, so I’m not even sure if Celeste knew I was here at all. But it doesn’t matter now, because I know she’s at a meeting withThe Eidola Eyetoday.
On some level, I know I’m not supposed to isolate myself after a breakup. I should talk to Celeste, Max, or Oliver. Seek comfort. Let someone else in. But shutting everyone out is what I do. It’s what I’ve always done.
It’s not until Celeste calls my cell multiple times that I finally answer. “Hello?”
“Jude, are you in your room?”
I hesitate, but I figure there’s no point in lying. “Yeah.”
“Nikki is outside the west entrance waiting for you to let her in. Sounds like y’all might have had a little fight last night?”
A little fight? Is that what Nikki told her? “Yeah.”
“Jude, what’s going on?”
I groan and bury my face into my pillow. I don’t want to do this right now.
There’s a pause. “Should I tell Nikki to get lost?”
I consider it, and I almost say yes until I remember that the Halloween party is tomorrow. Fuck, I don’t want to be miserable at the party, and Oliver would freak out if I didn’t show up. Maybe I should try to hear Nikki out.
“You still there?”
“I’m here. I’ll let Nikki in.”
“Are you sure?” Celeste asks warily. “I could tell her to come back later.”
“No, it’s okay. Thank you.”
“Sure…do you want me to stay out of the way, or would you rather me be there with you?”
I shrug, then remember that she can’t see me. “It doesn’t matter.”
“I’m on my way up.”
We hang up, and I text Nikki to ask the visitor desk to page me again. Once they do, I accept the page, and I assume Nikki is heading up the stairs, so I toss on my compression top, wrap myself in my housecoat, and wait on the couch.
Celeste arrives first, giving me a once-over. “Hey, are you sure you’re okay?”
I shrug. “Yeah, I’ll be okay.”
“Were you here last night?”
Reluctantly, I nod.
“Why didn’t you tell me? You know you don’t have to go through that kind of shit alone.”
