“Are you avoiding dating because you don’t want weird attention from your friends? Or are you avoiding it because you don’t want to date?”
I consider it with another gulp of coffee. “I don’t think I’mavoidingdating, per se. I just haven’t found someone that I want to date.”
“Okay, that’s good,” Jude says. “So, if you found someone you wanted to date, you’d pursue them?”
“I guess?” I answer. “I don’t know. I’m happy with things as they are, honestly. Maybe that’ll change at some point, but right now, I’m good.”
“So, you don’t feel like you’re missing out by not dating?”
“Not really, no.” I meet their gaze with sincerity. “Like I said, I’m happy.”
Jude’s gray-green eyes study me, and I can’t resist staring back at them. Their eyes are so fascinating to look at up close—I don’t think I’ve ever met someone with that exact shade. They’re like dark sea glass, or that greenish blue the sky turns at dusk. It’s really fucking cool.
“Wow,” Jude whispers. “I have to say, I’m kind of jealous of you.”
I frown. “Why?”
“I wish I didn’t need a romantic partner in my life to be happy. I always feel like something’s missing when I’m single.”
My heart sinks at their words, though I’m not sure why. “I don’t know about that,” I respond after a beat. “Before I learnedabout asexuality, I always felt like I was the broken one. Like, I’m supposed to seek out sex and find someone to be intimate with. But I’d much rather have a partner who’s my best friend, you know? No pressure, no expectations to be anything more than just myself.”
“Well, I think friendship should be the most important thing to look for in a partner anyway,” Jude says. “There shouldn’t be any pressure to be someone other than yourself. A partner should love you for exactly who you are. Sex is supposed to be a bonus.”
I shrug. “You say that, but what non-asexual person is going to want to be with someone who doesn’t want sex?”
Jude hesitates, but they smile knowingly. “I think you might be surprised. I mean, obviously, sex is important to a lot of people. But love? Love can be a powerful thing.”
As I absorb Jude’s words, I think back to when Theo came out to us in his home theater two years ago. I remember thinking he was crazy to risk so much to be “more than friends” with a guy. It seemed so irrational, so unnecessary. His parents wouldn’t have cared nearly as much if he had just been friends with Caleb—why did Theo insist on Caleb being his romantic partner instead? Is physical intimacy really that special?
Will I ever understand?
“All right,” Jude declares. “I think we’ve had enough serious talk for one day, don’t you think?”
My heart vibrates against my ribs. “You already know me so well,” I say, beaming ear-to-ear.
Jude smiles in return, then places their hand on mine. “Remember what you said the other day in the library? Like, it felt like we already knew each other somehow?”
My cheeks begin to heat. “And like we were always meant to be friends?”
They nod. “I feel it, too, Oliver. And it kind of freaks me out because I’ve always been pretty guarded, and I don’t make friends easily. But you’ve been the easiest friend I’ve ever made.”
An emotional lump forms in my throat. “Really?”
“Yeah. And that was even before you came out as ace, but I was too afraid to believe it because I automatically assume all guys just want sex.”
“Unfortunately, that’s usually true.”
“But, even if you weren’t ace, I think I’d still trust you.”
The backs of my eyes start to burn. “Well, shit. That’s a high compliment.”
“Yeah, well, don’t let it go to your head,” Jude warns, smirking at me and downing the rest of their coffee. “Now, what movie are we watching?”
I follow their lead and finish my coffee as well. “Great question. Shall we peruse the selections?”
“Yes. Let’s.”
Saturday, September 13, 2025
