“But…”Isaid, my mouth going dry, andIhad to take a sip of water in order to continue.Dafydd’sface creased as he tried to puzzle out whereIwas going with things.
“Yes?”
“I don’t thinkIwas the right person to hire,”Isaid, andIwatched as he reeled back slightly at this admission.
“You don’t?”
I shook my head. “TeddyCooper,Jen’sniece, has been working at the farm for decades.Sinceshe was a teenager.Andshe should have had the chance to come on board full time.”
Dafydd sighed and smiled at me. “Youknow,Jensaid the same thing,” he admitted. “Wetalked about it extensively.Butit’s a local development grant, and one of the restrictions is that?—”
“All hires must be local,”Ifinished for him. “Iknow.Butit’s notTeddy’sfault that she isn’t local.She’sbeen doing everything that she can for years to try to move here permanently.Butwithout the grant money, the farm can’t afford it.”
Dafydd took a sip of his tea and looked down at the table, andIcould tell he was trying to formulate the exact right response.Ifought against every instinct to keep talking, to tell him exactly why he should make an exception, butIlikedDafydd.Andfrom the way he was looking at me– not condescendingly or dismissively, but like he really respected me–Itrusted him.So,Iwaited.
“I get it,” he said. “Ireally do.Gwenynenbeing a family business is part of why we chose it for the grant.Jen’sethos is incredibly strong and aligned with what we want for the town, too.”
I could already sense the “but” coming before he said it, but it hit like a jab anyway.
“But,” he said, “the problem with family businesses is that growth can be very slow.Anda lot of them do rely on grants to help them scale, but they’re then bound to the restrictions of those grants.It’san awful catch twenty-two, but it’s the hard reality of it.”
“I understand that,”Isaid. “Really,Ido.It’snot the council’s responsibility to make sure the farm has enough revenue to hire someone, and certainly not based on personal attachment.”
“Exactly,” he said, thoughIcould tell from his frown that he didn’t like it any more thanIdid.
“But you are actually able to change this for them,”Isaid. “I’mnot asking you to giveGwenynenmore money than you already are.I’mjust asking thatTeddyqualify as a local hire.”
“IsMsCooperqualified to do the job?”Dafyddasked. “Becauseit’s not just about locality, it’s also about skill set.Andthe reason you were hired was because of your vision, and your ability to execute events and marketing strategies in line with the goals of the grant.”
“No,”Iadmitted. “Teddycan’t do whatIcan do.Shecould probably do an okay job, better than even she thinks, but not like me.”Itfelt surprisingly good to admit– to take pride in whatI’dachieved.Tovoice how important my contribution actually was. “Butwhat if there was a way for us to have both?”
Dafydd frowned. “Idon’t see how that’s possible,” he said, and my heart sank momentarily. “ButI’mlistening.”
Over the next hour,IranDafyddthrough my proposal– thatTeddybe allowed to qualify as a local hire so the farm could sponsor her, and the grant money would be split between her salary and my services.Iwould still work forGwenynen, but not as a full-time employee; as a part-time contractor.Iwas nervous–Ihadn’t run any of this pastJen, soIwasn’t a hundred per cent sure the numbers would work– but as long as the council agreed to countTeddyas alocal hire, we could figure the rest out later.Together, as a team.Maybeeven beforeTeddyhad to leave in a couple of weeks.
As much asI’dhopedDafyddwould be convinced beyond doubt and agree on the spot,Iwasn’t surprised when he’d said he would investigate and get back to me.Hecouldn’t make the decision unilaterally, soI’dneed to wait.AndI’dnever been a very patient person, but this time,Ihad no choice.
* * *
So,whilstIdidn’t have specific plans,Idid feel quietly confident that we would be able to work something out.Ijust needed to resist the urge to getTeddy’shopes up untilIheard back.
It was the only reasonI’dlet myself be with her tonight–Iwas hoping it was the start of something rather than the end.Foronce,Ididn’t feel like letting myself get close to her was a doomed pursuit.
Except, then she’d gone and disintegrated, and asIwatched her wipe tears from her eyes,IknewIwas too late.
Against all odds, she’d lovedD&D, and she lovedNashala.She’dpoured so much of herself– her own hurt and hope and passion– into the character and the campaign.Forher to throw that away …Icould see it in her eyes– she’d decided to give up trying to stay.
“You’re leaving,”Isaid.Itwasn’t a question.Shepressed her mouth into a thin line and nodded.
“OnMonday,” she said, and it was like a punch to the gut.Shemust have moved up her flight.Andshe must have known, as she had her fingers inside me just hours ago, that she was getting ready to leave me.
“Oh, shit,”Jacksaid, standing up to move around the table and hugTeddy. “I’mglad we got through that fight, then.”
“Me, too,”Teddysaid, huggingJackback. “Whowould have thought four months ago thatI’dbe crying overD&D?”
They both laughed, and when they pulled apart, the others were there, lining up to hugTeddy, too.Theysaid their goodbyes in turn whilstIwatched.Fatimadidn’t look quite as surprised as the others–Iimagined she’d known to kill offNashala– but clearly even she hadn’t known what it meant.
“So,”Teddysaid, looking over at me, butIcouldn’t move.Iwas frozen in place.
