“Sounds like his heart is still pretty fond.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Yeah, well, he does the best he can,Iguess.AndIdo check in on him whenI’mthere.Thewinters are hard, because he can’t be outside,andhe doesn’t haveMom.But, honestly,Idon’t try that hard these days, andIcertainly can’t help him from here.”
“Nor should you have to,”Jackadded. “That’snot fair on you.Iknow you’ve probably been told that a million times by people far more qualified to comment, but still.”
“No, you’re right.Ishouldn’t have to.Buthe’s still my dad.Ijust wishIdidn’t have to worry about him, you know?”
We were quiet for a while after that, paddling a bit to help the current, but it was an easy silence.IlikedJack.Icould see why he andChloewere so close.Howthey balanced each other out well.Howshe pushed him, and he grounded her.
After a while, the girls andWillowcame into view again on the riverbank, all of them laid out on the blanket, andIcould tell from the way the afternoon light glistened off them that they’d been for a dip in the water.Beforewe were close enough to see much detail,Iwas already picturing that purple bikiniChloehad been wearing, dark from the water and taut against her skin.Herauburn hair hanging in wet locks over her freckled shoulders, my fingers twisting it into braids.Herhands in my hair, too.
I felt my jaw tighten at the unbidden image, andIcould have swornIfelt her phantom touch dusting the tops of my shoulders, the same wayI’dfelt asI’dlain in bed that night after the cheese festival, my own hands skating lower on my body,KateBosworthlooking down in pity asI’dplayed out what could have been.
Jack cleared his throat next to me, andIrealised he’d said something.
“Sorry?”Iasked, then turned to look at him, only to find him smiling.
“You know,” he said, nudging my kayak with his paddle, “if you need a cold dunk,Icould always tip you after all.”
“Hilarious,”Isaid, then looked back up to the others, my eyes locking instantly withChloe’s.Heatpooled in my centre, andIfroze under her gaze.Shelooked exactly asI’dpictured, drops of water running down her soft stomach, catching in the sunlight.Shearched her back slightly, as if she knew how good she looked– knewIwas admiring her.Shehad the audacity to smile, andIwas a deer caught in her headlights.
“You know what,”Isaid toJack, “on second thought…”
He stopped chuckling. “Wait, seriously?”
I chanced a look back atChloe, and, yep, that gaze still blazed right through me.
“Absolutely,”Isaid. “Fuckit.”
A moment later, the world turned sideways, and the last thingIsaw beforeIhit the water wasChloe’seyes widening in surprise and delight.
It was the single most intoxicating thingI’dever seen.
Chapter15
Chloe
Nearly a week post-cheese festival,Iwas still waking up with the ghost ofTeddy’shands in my hair.
It wasn’t just the braid, though that was the partIreplayed most often: the tender way her fingers gripped it, just like she’d held that bee; the way she’d looked at me afterwards, flushed and focused, like we were the only people in the world, and like she was glad of it.Itwas everything leading up to and radiating from that moment: the shared exhaustion, the sniping that had given way to teamwork, her easy laughter when she caught me staring.
And then, of course, the rejection.Nota major one, but a rejection nonetheless.
When we’d unloaded the van at the farm, she’d given me an awkward salute and vanished into the house without a word.Thenext morning, it had been like nothing had happened– like we were back to square one.
I might have been losing my mind a little.
“How does it feel to be the fifth wheel?”MorganaskedAmyas we towelled off.We’ddone our best sinceTeddyandJackhad set off to avoid getting in the water, but it was just too warm.Morganhad led the plunge into the river, and we’d paddled around for a while, walking on our hands in the cool, shallow water until we were shivering instead of sweating.Willowbounded from the water to the bank, rolling in the grass to dry herself off, only to jump straight back into the river.
“She’s not the fifth wheel,”Iinsisted asIused the corner of my towel to dryWillow’sears. “Thisisnota double date.Andbesides, there are six of us if you includeWillow.”
“If it were,”Amysaid, stretching herself out over theblanket, taking up far more than her share, “JackandTeddywould be the ones on a date right now.They’vebeen gone for so long.”
“It’s fine,”Morgansaid, lacing her fingers through mine as she sat down next to me. “Wecan be on a date if you’d like.”
“Guys,”Isaid, wrenching my hand free, “there is nothing happening betweenTeddyand me.Trustme.”Because, believe me,Ididn’t say,Itried.
Not thatIhad tried that hard.Butstill,Ihadn’tnotput myself out there.Therehad been bait to take, and she hadn’t bitten.
