“I really do care,”Iadmitted. “Ineed this to go well.”
I tried to look away, butTeddyput a finger on the side of my chin, keeping me locked on her.Shemoved her hand away quickly, butIdidn’t drop her gaze this time.EventhoughIwanted to; even though we both knew whyIneeded this to go well, and why that was painful for both of us.
I smiled weakly at her, and she smiled back, hers carrying more strength than mine.Ifshe believed things would be okay, maybe they would be.EspeciallysinceIwasn’t alone.
Teddy andIwent through the issues again.Shewas confident that, between her andMaggie, they could get the warehouse cleared, andIcould focus on changing the plan for the stage with theAVcompany.Teddyalso felt sure that the rain would put off enough people to avoid overcrowding, and when we looked at the numbers together,Ifelt less guilty about the extra ticketsI’dsold.Evenif everyone did come, we wouldn’t be far over the maximum.Ifneeded,Icould always kick my friends out to avoid getting in trouble.
“For the food vendor,” she said, “we can textDylanandAlice– they know loads of the local suppliers from the club they’re in.AndI’msureJenwould be happy to take over the art classes.”
“I can’t ask her to do that,”Isaid. “It’sher big event.Sheshould be able to enjoy it, or at least not have to deal with paint-covered little hands.”
“She’ll be glad to have something to focus on,”Teddyinsisted. “I’llask her.”
“No, it’s okay,”Isaid, wiping the last of the tears from my face. “Ican do it.”
“Good,”Teddysaid with a smile.Andit helped for a moment, but then my brain started compiling my new to-do list, and it all got a bit much.
“I have so much to do,”Igroaned, burying my head in my hands. “I’vegot to think about the car park, the new stagelocation, all of that.”
“Then let’s do a good old-fashioned brain dump,”Teddysaid, pointing to my journal, whichI’ddiscarded on the grass beside me. “Crackthat thing open, and let’s see what we can shake out.”
* * *
By the timeTeddyandIhad finished,Ihad a full list of everythingIneeded to do to recreate the festival plan indoors.Itwouldn’t be perfect, but, asTeddypointed out, we’d already sold the tickets, so as long as we put on a great day for the people who did come, it would be a success for the farm.Wereally did make a good team, didn’t we?
Over the next few days,Teddyhelped me solve each crisis in turn.Sheconnected me with a contactDylansent her– a local biodynamic farmer who saved the day.TheAVcompany came to arrange for the new stage, measuring around the warehouse contents we assured them would be out of the way.Wespent hours clearing the space, working late into every evening,Maggieusing the tractor to move the heavy equipment.Alot could be left outside, even in the rain, though some things had to be covered with a marquee that ate into the emergency reserve budget quite substantially.Therest was shoved into the barn, rendering the workspace unusable forJenandMaggieuntil we could clear it again.
It was truly all hands on deck.Ieven stayed in theshepherd’shut every night to be closer to the action, and to eliminate my killer commute.Monthson, it was still hideously inefficient, even if my calf muscles looked better than ever.IfIwere going to work forGwenynenlong term,I’dneed to finally learn to drive.
I started promoting the fact that the event would now be indoors, and given the positive response,Iwas very much still worried about overcrowding, but there was nothingIcould do about that until the day.
Jen was thrilled, asTeddyhad predicted, to take on the art lessons, saying she trustedTeddyand me to run things without her constant oversight.Sheeven donated her new painting– the one ofTeddyand me at the hives– to the silent auction.Icouldn’t quite look at the painting without feeling a sharp tug of emotion, but it was a really beautiful painting, and it was generous of her to donate it.Evenif she did seem reluctant to part with it when the time came to set it up in the warehouse.
My friends ditchedD&Don theThursdayto come help us, walking through the rain to helpTeddyline the car park in plastic mesh to prevent it becoming a mud pit.Iwatched them asIsat in the studio withJenfolding the newly printed festival maps, overwhelmed thatIhad such incredible people in my life.
ByFridayevening, the space was looking largely as it should, and slowly theGwenynenCultureFestival:RainPlanEditionwent from an almost certain disaster into something that might actually, miraculously work.Ilooked around the transformed warehouse– tables and curtains set up to look like food trucks around the edges, a colourful tent for the kids’ activities, a gallery-style viewing area for the silent auction, and a stage kitted out with sound equipment– andIcould just about imagine it full of people.Thecommercial warehouse lights were a bit intense, but it was better than being soaked with rain, soI’dtake it.
I racked my brain for what to do next, but given the rain that was already drumming on the metal roof, everything left had to wait until the morning.ThankstoTeddy– andJen, andMaggie, and my friends–Icould rest.Or, at least, sit on my hands until the morning, when the real chaos would begin.
* * *
I was sittingby the window in the shepherd’s hut just before midnight, journalling in my pyjamas– though at this point it was mostly just making and remaking to-do lists for the morning, which somehow did make me feel more in control.Therain was coming down steadily now, andItried not to feel worried about what that meant for the morning.We’ddone all we could.
I was just trying to choose a prompt to help me detach a bit more whenIrealisedIcould see lights on in the warehouse across the yard.
“Shit,”Isaid to myself.I’dbeen the last one in there, soImust have left them on.Itdidn’t look bright enough from here to be the overhead lights, but maybe some of the “food truck” curtains were obscuring it?
Curious,Ipulled on my rain jacket over my pyjamas and headed out into the night to investigate.
Inside,IfoundTeddyat the top of a rolling staircase stringing a cord of fairy lights through the rafters.Thespace was completely transformed– the cold, harsh lights of the overheads had been replaced with something softer, warm light reflecting off the metal surfaces and creating intimate pockets of illumination.
“Teddy?”Icalled softly, not wanting to startle her.
She jumped anyway, wobbling dangerously.Irushed forward as she climbed down.AsIsteadied the staircase, my hands ended up on either side of her against the rungs, trapping her between my arms.
“What are you doing?”Iasked, very aware of how close we were–Icould feel the warmth radiating off her – yetIwas unable to move away.
“You’ve put so much work into this,” she said quietly. “Iwant it to be perfect.”
