“I didn’t even know we had these,”Isaid, looking up at the lights.
“We didn’t,” she said, andIfrowned up at her. “Iordered them as soon asIknew we had to move things in here.Theyjust came today.”
We looked at each other for a long moment, andItried to remember all the reasons why being withTeddyright now was a terrible idea.ButallIcould think of were all the reasons whyI’dwanted her to begin with.AllIcould see were her soft, bright eyes reflecting the lights she’d hung for me.Andthere was absolutely nothing in my head but her.
I put my foot on the bottom tread of the stairs and pushed up, closing most of the distance between us.Teddymet me the rest of the way.
The kiss was soft at first, tentative, but then deeper as we remembered what we’d discovered about each other just a fortnight ago.Icouldn’t keep my hands still, running them through her hair, down her shoulders, pulling her closer.
Teddy pushed me away slightly, andImust have frowned, because she chuckled.Shepressed on my shoulders so thatIstepped back down onto the polished concrete floor, and she climbed down with me.Thenshe put her hands on my waist and spun me around so it wasmyback to the steps, just like she had against the hotel door that first time.Shestepped one foot to the side to lock the staircase in place, then the other.
I gasped. “Wereyou seriously using this without it locked in place?”Iasked.Shekissed the faux disapproval right off my face.
“It was easier to just pull myself along the rafters,” she muttered between kisses.
“I’m pretty sure that’s a health and safety violation.”
“Then lock me up,” she said, “becauseIdon’t think this is very health and safety compliant, either.”
I was just about to counter that health and safety violations didn’t often result in prison time, but then she was kissing the rainwater off my neck, and all thoughts vanished except for an acute awareness of her lips on my skin.Andher hands, which were running up my sides and cupping my bare breasts beneath myT-shirt.Iarched into her touch, hungry for more.
Her knees bent as her lips moved to my collarbone, pushing my raincoat aside, then my chest, then my stomach, then my hip.Shewas fully bent in front of me when she tugged at the waistband of my pyjama shorts, snapping them back into place so hard it stung.
“I loved watching you stumble around in these when we were away for that festival,” she said, her hands pressing into my hipbone beneath the shorts as she stood back up to kiss me again.
The words sent heat flooding through me, and when she pressed her knee between my legs,Icouldn’t help grinding against her thigh, remembering what it felt like to come on that exact spot; for her to come on me.Ibraced against the treads behind me, my head tilting back until it found metal, butIheldTeddy’sgaze as she watched me writhe.IthoughtImight come from just that contact; from the way she was looking at me likeIwas everything she wanted.
She slid one hand up my thigh, the other still holding my hip in place, then leaned forward.Hermouth was suddenly everywhere– my neck, my collarbone, the hollow behind my ear.Everytouch sent a jolt through me, andIfelt myself dissolve, atom by atom, until there was nothing left but the feel of her and the sound of the rain.
I wanted her so badly it hurt.
She cupped my jaw, kissed me slowly, and then pulled back, just enough to look me in the eye.
“You’re perfect,” she said.
It shattered me.Ididn’t want to be perfect.Ididn’t want to be anything but hers, just for a little while.
I pulled her in, desperate, and kissed her like it was the last thingI’dever do.ForallIknew, it was the last timeI’dget to.
She slipped her hand lower beneath my shorts, fingers hot and sure, andIgasped as she found my wetness, arching into her touch.
She smiled, wicked and gentle, and said, “Letme take care of you.”
SoIlet her.Ilet her make me forget the world asIrode her hand, gasping for air as she pulled up myT-shirt and closed her mouth around my nipple, tongue swirling and teeth nipping.Shetouched me and licked me and fucked me untilIwas shaking and clutching at her shoulders; untilIburied my face in her neck to keep from crying out.EvenafterIcame, she didn’t stop, and before longIfelt the edge building again, sharp and sweet, andIrode it, trusting her to catch me whenIfell.
She did.
She held me through it, her fingers pulsing softly asIrocked my hips, her breath at my ear. “You’reso good,” she said, her voice honey-thick. “Fuck,Chloe, this is so good.”
WhenIcould finally breathe again, she kissed my temple, pulled her fingers out of me, and licked them clean, holding eye contact the whole time.WhenIwas confidentIwouldn’t come again just from the sight of it,Ilet her lay her head against my chest, andIwas sure she could hear how hard my heart was beating; even harder now that she was there to hear it.
We stood there, still tangled together, the ladder at my back, my raincoat splayed open, the fairy lights twinkling overhead.Wedidn’t say anything for a long time, just slowing our breathing together.
ButIcouldn’t just enjoy it, couldI?
I’d barely come down from the high, andIwas already anticipating what came next.Theawkward conversation, the hurt feelings, the ache of loneliness.Iwanted to say something– something real; something brave– but my throat was thick with tears.
Why did everything have to be so messy?Whycouldn’tIhave just this one thing?Ibegged the universe in that moment to let me have her.Tonot tear us apart by circumstance or resentment or whatever else plagued our path.
