AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Thank you.” Ellen swallowed. “It was hard.”
Lucas’ expression softened. “Poor Ellen. You’ve lost so many people.”
“As have many others. You needn’t feel sorry for me.” Ellen lifted her chin. “I’m strong.” And she was getting stronger every day.
“I know you are. I heard from your Aunt Rose that you won’t be going back to Kingston.”
“No, I’ve decided not to be a nurse.”
“Do you know what you’ll do instead?”
“I’m considering a few options,” she said, and then to her surprise, Lucas took her hands in his.
“Well, perhaps you will consider one more.”
Ellen froze. Surely there could be no mistaking the earnest intent in his eyes and yet—
Before she could frame a further thought, he spoke. “I told you I’d give you a bit of space and I have now, haven’t I?”
Ellen’s hands felt cold in his. “I suppose you have. But—”
“I don’t know how else to say it, so I’ll come straight out with it, Ellen. Will you marry me?”
Ellen’s hands, still encased in Lucas’, felt icy. She stared at him, his eyes sparkling with hope, his expression rapt and so very serious.
“Marry you?” she repeated, trying desperately to frame a response that would be both accurate and gentle. “Lucas, this comes as a surprise.”
“I thought I made my feelings clear the night of the smoker,” Lucas answered. “Ellen, I love you. And I must admit that I have hoped, given time, you might love me.”
“But we haven’t even seen each other since then, not properly!”
“Did you not understand what my intentions were?”
Ellen closed her eyes. “Yes, I suppose I did,” she whispered.
Lucas withdrew his hands from hers. “And?” he inquired stiffly.
“Oh Lucas, I thought... thought in time perhaps...” She swallowed. “I haven’t thought of anything properly since Ruth died. I don’t know what I want to do with my life—”
“You seem as if you know what you don’t want to do with it,” Lucas said, and she’d never heard him sound so cool. Cold, even, and she knew it masked a deep hurt.
“I’m sorry,” Ellen said wretchedly. “I wish I had a proper answer for you—”
“Do you think you could love me, Ellen? In time?” He swallowed and tugged at his collar. “Honestly, now. I want the truth, not simply to be put off with some sop.”
She stared at his open face, so familiar and dear, and ached to love him. How simple it would be. How safe. And yet she’d told Hamish she would not choose the safest path. She was leaving nursing school for that very reason. “Lucas...”
“We could have a long engagement,” he said quickly, and Ellen knew he didn’t want to hear what she was going to say. What she must say. “I have two more years at Queen’s, and you could do what you liked. Perhaps even art school. I won’t keep you from your dreams, Ellen. I swear it. I love you and I want you to succeed.”
She closed her eyes, wishing so desperately she could step into the picture he painted. It was a lovely, welcoming picture. Why couldn’t she want it? Love it? Love him?
“I shouldn’t have pressed,” Lucas said as he drove a hand through his hair. “I’m too impatient, I know that. I just think of how it could be between us, Ellen. We’ve always got along so well.”
She opened her eyes. “I know we have.”
He swallowed, his expression still so eager, so earnest... so knowing. Of course he knew. How could he not? “I just want to love you, Ellen,” he said quietly. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“You could have so much more,” she said, her voice aching. “You deserve so much more, Lucas.”
