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‘It’s fine,’ he said, which was no real answer at all. ‘I just didn’t expect...’ he shook his head ‘...any of this.’
‘Right.’ She smiled shyly. ‘Can’t we just...consider this a bonus?’
A bonus. He stared at her as if seeing her for the first time. Her hair was tumbled about her shoulders, her face still rosy, her lips still swollen from his kisses. Looking at her now, he wanted her all over again, with a deep and abiding need that shocked him.
Of course Milly didn’t know, and he wasn’t about to tell her, that he hadn’t physically desired a woman like this in nearly two years. He hadn’t desired a woman at all in that time; he’d never thought to feel that need again—and now it was overpowering him. It was thrilling, but it was also alarming. It made him vulnerable. It made him weak.
‘Alex...?’
He retrained his distant gaze on her. He was being irrational. Emotional, which was something he tried never to be, because he knew where it led. A physical relationship didn’t have to mean anything. It hadn’t before. Yes, they were married now, and that meant something, but this didn’t have to. This could be just what Milly had said...a bonus. A very nice bonus.
‘Sorry.’ He gave her a quick smile. ‘I l
ike your thinking.’
Her face lit up as she smiled shyly. ‘You do?’
‘Yes, I most certainly do. It’s just taken me a little while to catch up.’ She scanned his face, waiting for more. Alex reached for her and she came willingly into his arms, something else that felt strange. He could get used to this, he realised, and then where would he be?
‘This is an unexpected perk,’ he murmured, and then brushed a kiss across her lips. She responded instantly, fitting her body to his, wrapping her arms around his neck, tempting him to take it further. A lot further.
But now was neither the time nor the place, despite what had just happened right on his desk. He needed to regroup, regain control, and figure out exactly how he was going to handle this unforeseen complication. This bonus.
‘Why don’t you go back to my flat?’ he suggested. ‘Make yourself comfortable, order in food. I’ll join you as soon as I’ve finished up here.’ He turned to reach for his phone. ‘The doorman will give you the key. I’ll call a limo...’
‘I already have a key,’ Milly confessed. ‘Yiannis gave it to me when I told him I was coming to Athens.’
‘He did?’
‘I told him I was coming to surprise you. I made it sound like...well, exactly like it happened, as it turns out.’ Laughter bubbled up inside her and spilled out. ‘I just didn’t realise that was going to be the case.’
She sounded so happy, and Alex could hardly credit he had made her that way. And yet it made him wary too, because what happened when he inevitably disappointed or hurt her? When she found out the truth?
‘That’s easily dealt with, then,’ he said with a smile. ‘I won’t even have to ring the doorman.’
‘All right.’ She hesitated, and he simply stood there, hands in his pockets, waiting for her to go. Half of him wanted to snatch her up in his arms and bury his head in her hair, bury himself inside her again and again and again. Because he could. Because she wanted him to. Because he’d never, ever expected this much and it scared the hell out of him.
‘I’ll see you soon?’ she asked, a gentle query, and he nodded.
‘Yes. Soon.’
‘All right,’ she said again, and then she was gone, the door clicking shut softly behind her, the only thing remaining of her presence the faint lemony scent of her perfume—and the detritus of his papers scattered on the floor from when he’d swept them away in a moment of pure, blazing passion.
What was happening to him? What had happened to them? Alex walked slowly to his desk and sank into the chair, still dazed by the whole surreal encounter. Less than an hour ago he’d been intending to annul the marriage. He’d already called his lawyer to draw up the documents. And now...and now...
And now his marriage was going to look very different. Feel very different.
But not that different.
Alex let out a shuddering breath and reached for his papers. He still had work to do, a property deal in Sicily to look over, but he felt as if he couldn’t concentrate on anything. His mind kept going back to the moments he’d had with Milly, when she’d stared him straight in the face and said, ‘I desired you.’ When she’d thrown back her head, her voice a throaty growl as she’d pleaded with him. ‘Touch me, Alex. Touch me more, please.’
He rose abruptly, his blood heated simply from the memories. He was half inclined to take off after her now, spend the rest of the day and the whole night in bed.
But, no. He needed to think. He needed to remember to stay in control, because Milly might have, incredibly, accepted the scars on his face, but she had no idea about the ones on his soul. She had no idea what he was capable of, how he’d failed the people he’d loved. And if she learned any of that, she wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye. She wouldn’t be able to stand being touched by him. He was sure of it, and he knew already it would hurt more because of what they’d shared.
He had to find a way to keep his distance...and enjoy this bonus.
Which, Alex acknowledged, he should be able to do without a problem. He was a man, after all, a man who had once had an active sex life, who had managed to separate sex and love with absolute ease. This shouldn’t be a problem, he told himself grimly. He would make sure it wasn’t.
