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Because after a lifetime of living on the sidelines, being nothing more than an inconvenience to the people who were meant to love and cherish her, she longed for the kind of love that she’d read about in fairy tales, the kind of consuming, overwhelming, passionate and tender love that she wanted to believe could exist between a man and a woman.
Perhaps she’d never seen it in real life and hadn’t experienced it herself—yet—but she still believed it existed. She still hoped for it.
And she couldn’t risk telling Alex that she was pregnant and having it all change. Having him shut down and push her away, out of self-protection or convenience or fear. Just a few more weeks...a little more time for their relationship to grow and flourish, for Alex to realise he needed her.
Do you really think he’s going to fall in love with you?
Milly turned from the view of Rome to gaze at her reflection in a gilt mirror. No matter the hairstyle, the make-up or the gown, she was still a plain little mouse. She always would be. If her own parents hadn’t been able to love her, how could a man as handsome, complex, and kind as Alex? Because he was kind. He hid it well, but she’d seen it time and time again, the thoughtful touches, the surprising sensitivity, the tenderness. He was a good man, a wonderful, man...but how could he love her?
‘Milly.’ The way he spoke her name, like a caress, made a shudder of longing run through her. She would never get tired of him saying it, of him touching her, of anything about their life together. But would he? She didn’t trust her own powers of persuasion. She still felt incredulous that he could desire her physically, never mind feel something deeper and more important. It was all so fragile, and she wasn’t brave enough to risk it yet,
even though she knew she should.
‘I have something for you.’ She half turned, catching her breath at the sight of him in a tuxedo, looking devastatingly as handsome as always. His dark hair was brushed back from his face, his eyes electric blue, his skin like bronze. The scars made absolutely no difference to her; he was the most handsome man she’d ever met, and he made her heart beat double-time by just looking at him.
‘Turn back around,’ he instructed and she did so, letting out a soft gasp as he clasped a diamond and sapphire necklace around her neck, the heavy stones cool against her skin. ‘There are earrings to match.’
‘Alex, it’s amazing...’ In the mirror the necklace, made of several large sapphire-encrusted diamonds, glittered and winked. It was the most extravagant and beautiful piece of jewellery she’d ever seen. She caught his gaze and managed a trembling smile. ‘I don’t know what to say...’
‘They belonged to my mother,’ he told her as he fastened the earrings in her ears, the gentle touch of his fingers making her shiver. ‘My stepfather gave them to her on their tenth anniversary.’
The fact that they were an heirloom, part of his history, made them even more special. ‘I don’t even know anything about your mother,’ she remarked as she touched the diamonds, watched them sparkle. ‘Is she...was she...?’
‘She died ten years ago. Cancer.’ His tone was matter-of-fact, but his eyes were bleak, and empathy twisted inside her. ‘It was better that way. Better she didn’t see...’
He trailed off, his expression closing, and Milly reached up to clasp his hand resting on her shoulder. He might not want to say anything more, but she could give him that much, at least. They remained that way for a few precious seconds, with no need for words.
Then Alex stepped away. He was always the first one to do so, Milly acknowledged with a pang. Always the first to close down a conversation, to turn away, to keep it about sex. She tried not to mind, but it hurt. Every single time, it hurt. ‘The limo is waiting.’
Milly reached for the matching burgundy silk wrap to cover her shoulders. Now that it was autumn, the nights were becoming chilly.
As she slid into the limo, her nerves started up again, along with the excitement. What would this evening hold? What did it promise? Maybe, just maybe, it really could be the beginning of something wonderful.
She slid a glance at Alex; he looked preoccupied, a bit stoical. She knew how hard this was for him, and she wanted to say something to encourage him, but she feared anything she said would just be a painful reminder of the challenges that lay ahead.
‘Anna is so looking forward to this,’ she said instead. They hadn’t been able to see Anna before the gala, because of her rehearsals. ‘It really is a huge honour for someone in her year to be chosen.’
‘I look forward to hearing her play.’
He looked so tense that Milly ached to do something to help him relax. The limo pulled up in front of the private villa where the event was being held, an impressive eighteenth-century home just off the Piazza di Trevi. A throng of people was ascending the steps, and Milly’s insides twisted with anxiety as she saw a handful of paparazzi on hand to photograph the event, something she hadn’t expected. Photographs were the last thing Alex would want, and she saw his mouth tighten as he caught sight of them.
‘I didn’t realise...’ she began, an apology, and he shook his head.
‘Shall we?’ His voice was toneless yet resolute. A valet opened the door of their limousine and Milly slid out, blinking as the cameras began to snap, as the paparazzi called to her in rapid-fire Italian.
‘Is that Alexandro Santos?’
‘Why hasn’t he been seen in public in months?’
She hadn’t anticipated this level of interest and speculation. Alex would hate it. She ignored the questions as Alex got out of the car, and it was as if everyone around them drew in a collective breath. A hushed silence fell, and then the cameras began to click and snap as the questions increased in volume and urgency.
‘What happened, Alex? Tell us your story.’
‘Is this why you haven’t been seen in public?’
‘Who is accompanying you?’
Milly struggled to hold her head high, keep the smile on her face. She would not let these wretched photographers capture anything other than the pride and love she felt for her husband.
