Her father scoffed. “I expect that my heir will provide a diversion to our mundane lives.”
“Diversion? Is that all you think about, Thomas Bennet?” Her mother threw her napkin on the table. Standing, she said, “If you spent half the time caring for your girls as you do reading your stupid books, we would be better for it, but you will not. Have a care, Mr. Bennet, or I shall marry the butcher when you are gone so we will at least have food on our table. Then we will curse you every day until we breathe our last. You wait and see.”
“The butcher, you say?” Her father leaned back in his chair. “I doubt he would take you on since you failed to produce a son when you were young. What possibility do you have now?”
Elizabeth reeled from the harshness of his words. Never before had she heard him speak with that level of disdain.
“Thomas Bennet!” Her mother moved closer. “You made a choice not to think of me long ago. I have lived with your neglect since. But what of our girls, your own daughters? Flesh of your flesh and bone of your bone? What of Elizabeth?”
He stirred his tea, taking his time in replying. Elizabeth knew that eavesdroppers rarely heard anything good, yet she was transfixed, unable to move away from the doorway.
“Lizzy is somewhat quicker than the rest, I will readily admit. Nevertheless, the sharpness of her wit pales next to the most idiotic man of my acquaintance. Even the butcher knows how to make his own way. Lizzy and the others are barely able to put one foot in front of the other without guidance. All five of them, Lizzy included, are silly and ignorant.”
“And whose fault is that, Thomas Bennet? You, who have had the benefit of a university education, cannot be bothered to share any of your knowledge with them. Shame on you!”
“If they had any potential for true learning, I would not hesitate. As it is, they are each too much like you to bother. Away with you.”
Elizabeth’s chest threatened to explode. For the first time in her memory, her father’s cruel jibes were aimed at her, ripping her heart into threads.
Retreating before they saw her, Elizabeth wanted nothing more than to be anywhere else. She hurried out the front door, not even taking the time to gather her shawl.
He had wounded her; her emotions were raw, exposed to the harsh elements of life. Why had her father insulted her? Had she not been his most faithful companion? How could he have said these vicious words? Did he truly believe them?
She ran, a futile attempt to outdistance herself from the pain.
Stopping at her favorite oak, she leaned against the trunk, uncaring of the damp that immediately seeped through her skirts. She was angry, bitterly so. Her inclination was to return to Longbourn and confront her father, asking him when he lost his loyalty.
Oh, there had been subtle and not-so-subtle comments before. Yet, he had followed his sarcastic teases with a laugh as if it were a joke. Instantly, she was disgusted with herself for having held him up as an exemplary father when the truth was far different.
Scenes from her youth flashed in her mind. When she was thirteen, Johnnie Lucas told her mother that he would marry Lizzy if no one else did. Her mother’s reply was, “Why would you want to marry her? Why, my Jane has the looks and my Lydia the personality. You would be most unhappy with Lizzy, Master Lucas.” Even though Elizabeth had no intention of ever marrying John Lucas, her father, who was in the room along with the rest of the family, should have defended her. Instead, he chuckled. Elizabeth remembered laughing, too, thinking that her father found the possibility of her being tied to John Lucas a degradation. Now, she saw that conversation in a far different light. He had found her wanting.
Wiping the moisture from her eyes, Elizabeth contemplated what this knowledge meant to her.
From infancy, it seemed, she was the rational daughter. Denied a governess, Elizabeth begged her father to teach her the alphabet and mathematical fundamentals. One by one, she taught her sisters to read, even Jane. Their mother thought it was a waste of time to gain more education since husbands rarely wanted an intelligent wife. It was only then that Elizabeth realized that was exactly what Mr. Thomas Bennet got the instant he married Francine Gardiner, a mate with potential to reason but a complete lack of how to apply it.
What did Elizabeth gain for her efforts? Her mother supported Lydia each time she stole ribbons, coins, or jewelry from her. For as much as she helped her younger sisters, not one of them ever lifted a finger in support of her. Neither did her mother. What of her father?
A breeze caught a curl, and she smoothed it away from her face.
Leaves rustled around her hem as she raised her eyes to the heavens. Elizabeth considered her father’s actions over the years. He was indolent. As selfish as her mother, living only for his desires. What did he know of sacrifice? Of caring for those under his charge? Did he look out for the needs of Longbourn’s tenants? Not at all. If their mother, Elizabeth, and Jane did not provide help, they would receive none. How many times had they heard, “Why should I make Longbourn prosper when it will go to my ridiculous heir one day?”
What about now?
If Jane were there, she would suggest that Elizabeth look for the good in her parents. Well, neither harmed them physically. They had a roof over their heads, food on the table, pin money in their purses, and appropriate clothing to wear for their station in life.
Nonetheless, she felt alone.
Swiping away her tears, her indomitable spirit rose. She was not one to sit idly by doing nothing. What could she do? She would begin hoarding her pin money, saving it in case the inevitable happened and they lost Longbourn to the heir, who was apparently arriving soon. She would make herself agreeable, marrying the first man who offered instead of holding out for someone whom she could admire and respect.
A mental picture of Colonel Fitzwilliam entered her mind. Irritatingly, Mr. Darcy stood alongside him. What in the world did that man have to do with her?
Laughing painfully at her own folly, Elizabeth was more than aware that she had nothing to offer the second son of an earl. What was limited book knowledge compared to a hefty dowry?
Who was Elizabeth Rose Bennet? Simply put, she was someone who yearned to have the sort of relationship her aunt and uncle Gardiner had. They set an excellent example for their children by showing love and devotion to each other. They were partners in every sense of the word, her uncle routinely asking for his wife’s opinion before making a weighty decision. Additionally, they viewed their children as more important than acquiring wealth. Never would her uncle leave his family to make their own way in the world. Their core values were honesty, being honorable, and kind.
Was that too much for a vulnerable girl of almost twenty-one years to achieve? Not at all. Her aunt’s situation differed little from Elizabeth’s. She was the youngest daughter of a gentleman of little means. Therefore, her portion, like Elizabeth’s, was small. She was educated and refined. Although Edmund Gardiner was a young businessman, she had found, in him, the perfect match.
Lifting her head erect, Elizabeth determined that she would no longer be apathetic when it came to her future. She wouldtake charge by being as kind as Jane and as ladylike as her aunt and Mrs. Hammond.
