Tilting her head to study him, she did not reply right away. “There is nothing like admiration from someone worthy to make a person want to become their best self.”
“Is that what you believe? That attraction centers us and makes us want to improve?”
“I do, very much so. When someone sees the best in us, we find ourselves more inclined to live up to that vision.”
“Then I hope…” Darcy stopped himself. “That is, I find myself wanting to become the man you see when you look at me with kindness. Someone worth caring for,” he said. “Someone whose affections might be welcomed instead of merely tolerated.”
What he had said was not easy for a man like him to say, and Elizabeth knew it. “Fitzwilliam,” she said. “Your affections arenotmerely tolerated.”
The admission hung between them in the gathering dusk, significant and precious. Darcy never looked away as he absorbed her words. Hope flickered to life across his features like the sunset spreading across the sky.
“Elizabeth,” he whispered.
“We should rejoin the others,” she said. She made no move to step away from him.
“We should.” He also remained perfectly still.
They continued to stand together as the last lightfaded from the sky and the first stars appeared above the Mediterranean. When they turned to rejoin their companions, Darcy caught Elizabeth’s hand in his. The gesture of connection felt natural despite its significance.
22
Later that night, Darcy listened to Richard’s deep breathing from the bunk above. If onlyhecould sleep as restfully. Their accommodations were a far cry from the spacious captain’s cabin they had enjoyed aboard theMeridian. The bunks were far too short, and the room was cramped. But if Elizabeth and her father did not complain about the lack of comfort, neither would he.
Trying not to wake his cousin, Darcy vacated their quarters and climbed the narrow stairs to the upper deck. The ship’s gentle motion had become as familiar to him as breathing, yet tonight he was exceedingly aware of every sensation. The salt spray misted his skin, the cool night air cut through his shirt, and the deck pulsed beneath his feet with each wave.
“Brooding again, Cousin?”
Darcy turned to find Richard approaching. He should have known the colonel would wake at the first stirring of air in their quarters.
“The moon is waxing gibbous,” Richard peered at the sky.
“There are three or four days until the full moon?” His cousin nodded, and Darcy added, “The night is too beautiful for brooding.”
“It is.” Richard settled beside him, his gaze following Darcy’s toward the horizon. “Though I suspect your reflections have less to do with Mediterranean scenery and more to do with a certain young lady’s willingness to hold your hand during sunset.”
Darcy noted the wind coming from behind him so that he could speak without the sound carrying back to the crew on night watch. “She said my affections were not merely tolerated.”
“Ah.” Richard’s voice grew gentler. “That would explain the stunned joy you have been wearing for the past three hours.”
They stood in comfortable silence for several minutes, the play of moonlight dancing on the water. Eventually, Richard spoke again, his tone carefully casual. “Speaking of courtships and transformations, you seem to be managing your romantic inclinations with admirable confidence these days. Quite different from your previous hesitation.”
Darcy turned to study his cousin’s profile, noting that Richard’s fingers were drumming against the rail in an uncharacteristic display of nervous energy. “Are you seeking advice about matters of the heart?”
“I am merely making conversation,” his cousin replied too quickly.
“And this sudden interest in romantic confidence hasnothing whatsoever to do with a certain well-traveled widow?”
“Mrs. Bell is a valuable source of intelligence for my mission.”
“Naturally.” Darcy allowed gentle mockery to enter his voice. “Just as I am sure your tendency to seek her company whenever possible stems from military necessity.”
“I do not seek her company.” The protest was not convincing.
“No? Then could it be that she seeks yours?” Darcy studied his cousin. “I have observed her looking for you when you are not immediately visible. She smiles differently when you approach than when others do. Her entire demeanor becomes more, I would say…animated in your presence.”
Richard’s breathing grew uneven. “You are imagining things.”
“Am I? Tell me, Cousin, when was the last time you spent an entire day without finding some excuse to speak with Mrs. Bell?”
