Memory of Orsen’s fist landing on Griffin broke through my brain’s attempt to rationalize what had happened, and I shook myself.
“I understand they’ve been through a lot, but that doesnotexcuse their behavior.”
Griffin sagged, taking my hand from where I’d been absently digging my nails into the wood.
“I’m not trying to make excuses. Just provide perspective about why.” He offered a small smile, tipping his head. “I mean, you do like them outside of all that, don’t you? I saw you chatting with the guys now things are a bit less tense. You seemed to be getting along really well with Nix.”
My heart stuttered, and I found myself stumbling, even though I was already sitting down. Panic was a familiar enough state at this point, but I didn’t like how this bout was colored with downright mortification.
“What?” I shot Griff a look, my brows raised as my pulse throbbed in my head all the harder. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Making a face that only a friend could get away with, Griff eyed me. He looked like he was doing his best to avoid bursting out laughing, and I swatted at him, shoving him off the desk as I huffed.
“There’s no point in hiding it, Ro. Come on.”
I glared at him, doing my best to keep my mouth from curving into a smile. “Sometimes I really hate dragons, you know that?”
Griffin smirked back at me, going back to folding his arms and exuding that cocky attitude I unfortunately adored him for. I couldn’t help but shake my head, a chuckle breaking free.
“I know you, Ro, and I know when you’re hiding something.”
He just stood there, waiting for me to break down.
“Ugh, fine. Imayhave… enjoyed a moment with Nix.”
“A moment?” Griff cocked a brow at me. “Was that before or after his tongue was in your mouth? Also, are we talking a moment so good it was orgasmic?”
“Griffin!” I smacked at him again, but he just kept laughing, my red face probably giving everything away. “You asshole! Ugh, I see why they like you.”
After catching his breath from giggling like a teenager, which only got him more glares and firm blows to the shoulder from my decidedly tiny fist, Griffin held his hands up in surrender.
“Okay, okay. I give up. But come on. You’ve been happy lately. More than I’veever seen. Why not let yourself have something nice?”
“Because it isn’t that simple, and you know it.” Pouting, I felt no better than a toddler myself, and I sighed, dropping my head onto my arms so I could bury my face in the mound of patient files. “What am I supposed to do? This isn’t what I’d planned for this trip at all. Excuse me for having complicated feelings about the Alphas who put you in a hospital bed and groped me five seconds after meeting me.”
“But it wasn’t the first time they met you, Ro. That’s the thing.”
Looking up at him, I could see Griffin was trying to bridge the gap in understanding between me and the Alphas. I had to respect him for it. It was a hard line to walk, being my friend and being a member of their horde.
“I get that, but… it’s just that understanding something logically and processing the emotions of it are very different. I know they went through hell. I know that, apparently, I’m the cause of that hell, and Orsen was being protective of a mate he thought was dead. But it doesn’t change the fact that he acted like a brute, and I still have no memory of what happened. I’m not interested in stepping into another situation that might get me killed. Mates or not.”
“Okaaay,” he dragged out, “but without putting the cart in front of the horse for a second, tell me what you’re feeling about them as guys. Because kissingNix isn’t nothing.”
I sighed again, utterly lost. “No, it’s not. I’m not sure, though. He’s easier to get along with, that’s for sure. I don’t know about the others. The truth is, we haven’t talked much at all. Maybe I’d be willing to do that if they could get over themselves and apologize for the rude greeting. Particularly Orsen.”
Griff smiled, nodding. “Okay, I can get behind that. Apologies are good. And hell, I’ll be the first to say Orsen has some groveling to do to me, considering it was my ass he beat.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “I guess we’ll just have to see, then, won’t we?”
The corners of Griffin’s mouth turned down. “Yes, indeed, Ro. Just wait and see.”
Orsen
Iprided myself on having excellent control of my dragon. But ever since Rowan reappeared, it had been battering against the walls I caged it in, demanding to come out. I wasn’t about to let that happen, of course, but I’d forgotten how damn tiring dealing with the bastard could be.
It was as if I’d been numb for six years, and all of a sudden, every emotion and sensation I’d repressed was rushing to the surface, bright and loud and really fucking annoying.
I hated it. Admitting that I was actually struggling with the scaley asshole didn’t come easily, nor was it something I was going to vocalize anytime soon.
