I swallowed dryly.
We decided how much power a word or title should have, right? And even though I felt like we were already behind on actual talking, I’d wanted to hear someone call me that in a kink setting the past fifteen years.
Even so…I had limits. We had to get something out of the way first.
“Before we go there, we gotta be on the same page,” I said, inching back. I gripped his hips to stop him from moving. He was too tempting. “I don’t know the boundaries you and James set up, and I ain’t ready for a whole lot. I can’t spend the night or anything like that.”
The only man I’d ever slept next to was Nathan.
Besides, I had to be at his house before Mikey and Lily woke up.
Jordan scraped his teeth over his bottom lip and nodded once. “I get it. Um, we want, like, a play partner dynamic with you.”
So far, so good. “I like the sound of that. As long as it’s clear that it can’t be whenever. It’ll be easier because we live next to each other, but in a couple weeks’ time, my kids will move in. They’ll be here every other week.”
He knitted his brows. “Isn’t it stupid to get a divorce if you’re possibly snatching up a Little?”
Christ, he couldn’t go there. I already had the idea in my head, and it threatened to open up a can of worms. And by worms, I meant more heartbreak.
“Nathan doesn’t love me like that anymore.” The hurt slashed through me as I said it, but it had to be out there. I had to realize it and use it in an attempt to accept things.
Jordan scrunched his nose. “Are you sure? That’s not what my friends are saying.”
His friends?
What was he talking about?
“What friends?” I couldn’t help but be a little on edge. “Nate and I are private, so unless you can read minds, I don’t see how you’d know anything about what we feel toward each other.”
“I know what I know,” he huffed. “It’s like this, okay? I heard from Corey, who heard from Kit, who heard from some girl, that both you and Nathan are depressed. It’s simple math. Why would he be depressed if he wasn’t mourning your relationship? It’s been over a year, hasn’t it? If he didn’t love you, he would’ve moved on by now.”
What the fresh fuck. Did he know all the brats out at Mclean? And was thissome girlNora?
“He did move on,” I replied. “He’s dating someone.”
“Um, no, he’snot. Iasked.” He placed a hand on his chest. “I talked to a guy in the bondage community, and he said Nathan had a short thing with someonelast fall. He ended it, and the guy he was dating left the community. There’s a lot of gossip out there, you know.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, suddenly overwhelmed. Just how involved was Jordan in the online community? And was any of that true? The boy must’ve been asking around.
“Sir, your monster thing’s not hard anymore.”
Oh, for fuck?—
I dropped my hand and stared at him. “No shit.”
He grinned innocently. “Oops? But in my defense, it’s important to me that you’re happy. And you never know—Nathan could be at home right now, crying because he misses you so much.”
Okay. All right. He had no interest in getting me hard again, that was for certain, although I wasn’t sure it was possible at this point, regardless.
“Jesus, kid, why would you throw that at me?”
“For a myriad of reasons, Sir. Amyriad,” he said. He wriggled his fingers to demonstrate that he was going to tick things off. “For starters, you’re not happy without him. Secondly, we want a happy play partner. Third, based on the stories James brings home after work, you and Nathan are not done. Fourth, Nathan is ridiculously hot too. It’s possible I signed up for one of his bondage classes soon, but we’ll see if I have the guts to attend.”
I blinked. He’d donewhat?
“Have you spoken to him?” I had to know.
“No,” he answered vehemently. “Full disclosure—I found your profile and, shortly after that, Nathan’s profile. Completely separately, I’ve been getting to know some of the brats in the community, and so…you know, when I started having questionsabout you and him, I asked Corey and Kit. But I swear it wasn’t a whole list of questions,” he was quick to add. “Maybe some? They weren’t super talkative either. They only know me from some online bratting, so they were kinda vague. I’m sure they assumed I’m just one in the long line of guys who have a crush on you or Nathan. Did you know that someone started an entire group dedicated to Nathan’s ropework?”
