All I want to do is to make this all go away, but I have no idea how to actually make it happen.
I don’t realize I’m crying until I feel Luciano's hand patting along the blanket at my hip, reaching to find my skin.
“What’s wrong, baby?” His voice is heavy from sleep, and instinctively, he tries to roll toward me, then winces. My heart does a dangerous leap, settling into my stomach alongside the guilt, and it makes the tears flow harder.
“I feel like such a failure, Luce. I can’t believe this happened to you because of me. I hate him. I hate him so much.”
“It’s not your fault. I’ve already said that a thousand times tonight, baby. I knew Javier would be a problem when I walked into this with you. From the moment your file came across my desk, Iknewthis would be a giant fucking problem. But here’s the thing, Raina.Iwalked into this with you. You didn’t drag me—didn’taskme. I did it because I wanted to. I did it because my subconscious was screaming at me that I loved you, even though I had masked my feelings and was too damn idiotic to admit it to myself.”
Through the darkness, I can just barely make out his silhouette, and I turn from my back onto my side to face him, my hand reaching to touch his face.
Words evade me, and I don’t know what to say other than I’m so sorry. So I apologize again, leaning forward to kiss his lips gently. Between each kiss, I mutter how sorry I am, my tears flowing freely between each stuttered word and frenzied kiss. He catches each tear that falls between our lips, letting me feel the emotions I need to let out, and doesn’t try to persuade me to listen or argue further.
His hand rests on the back of my neck, and he deepens our kiss, forcing me silently to stop apologizing. The moment his tongue plunges into my mouth, my skin sets fire, and I moan softly at its expert caress.
“Come closer,” he rumbles, rolling me onto him. Immediately, I press up on my knees, not letting my weight settle as I try to avoid his bruises. His grip on my neck falls, and he clutches onto my hips instead, pulling me down. “I said closer, not further away.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I whisper, placing both hands gently on his chest. Then my right hand drifts down to the bruise on his side, barely touching it.
“You’re not going to hurt me.”
The fabric of his T-shirt I’m wearing flows around me, covering our lower halves, but I can feel his hardened length beneath the thin fabric of the cheeky lace panties I’m wearing. It takes everything in me to stifle another moan and keep from grinding against him. But I want to. God, do I want to.
“Luce, we can’t.”
“Give me one good reason why.”
His hand drifts under the hemline of his shirt, effortlessly finding the most sensitive part of my body. He begins to stroke my clit with his thumb, and this time I can’t hold back the moan that escapes through my lips.
“You’re in pain,” I argue, although my head tips back on its own accord.
“Not good enough. Bringing you pleasure will help mask that.”
“What if I hurt you?”
“There’s only one way you could hurt me, and trust me when I say that riding my cock is not how. Now do us both a favor and lose the panties.”
“Not the shirt?” I breathlessly question as he applies more pressure on my clit.
“I like seeing you in my shirt, but you’re right, watching your perfect body as you ride me is going to be such a better visual.” He pinches my clit, causing me to yelp in a brief jolt of pain that quickly blooms into pleasure. “Now be a good girl and get naked for me.” Luciano bucks his hips slightly as I crawl off of him, pulling the shirt overhead as I do.
When I remove my panties and am completely nude, I help him out of his boxer briefs, then reposition myself back over him. Slowly, I begin to drag myself over his shaft, rolling my hips and shamelessly coating him in my arousal.
“Fuck, you feel so good, baby.” Luciano’s hand tangles into my hair, and he lightly wraps the loose tendrils around his fist, something I’m noticing he does often and I freakingloveit.
His other hand firmly grips my hip, helping me glide up and down his cock.
But as amazing as he feels, and as intensely as my body wants to submit to the pleasure, my mind struggles to pull myself completely into the moment, guilt eating at me over the things that I can’t control.
With my hands on his chest, I look down at the beautiful man beneath me with his eyes closed, and a look of awe flits across his face. Instead of mirroring it, a few more tears roll down my cheeks as my hips move against him.
As discreetly as I can, I wipe them away, but I miss one before it lands on Luciano’s chest. Beneath me he stiffens, and his eyes fly open. “Baby,fuck. What’s wrong?”
Letting go of my hair, he grabs hold of the other side of my waist, scooping me against him like he’s not injured in multiple places, and before I know what’s happening, I’m on my back. Propped up by his elbow, he leans over me and pushes the hair out of my face, searching my eyes.
My tears come harder, and I stumble through my breaths. “I just—I don’t—I’m so?—”
“Shh, Raina, baby, it’s okay.I’mokay. Look at me. Look in my eyes, Raina. I am here with you. I’m okay.”
