I don’t know how long I’ve been under the shower when warm arms wrap around me from behind, making my heart skip a beat. It’s Jessica.
My hand moves to cover hers.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice hoarse.
I feel her sigh against my back. “It’s not me you need to apologise to, Caleb. But we were worried about you.”
Guilt eats at me as I hang my head in shame. “I know and I’ll apologise to him. I don’t have an excuse. It was selfish, what I did.”
She drops her arms, and I think she’s going to leave, as she probably should, but instead, she moves around to stand in front of me, staring up at me.
“He told me about the letter,” she says softly.
I squeeze my eyes closed as her words sink in.
“He shouldn’t have had to. I forced his hand when I found it and went off the deep end.” I open my eyes and stare down at her. “I didn’t read it all. When I realised what it was, I saw red. I acted like a complete arsehole.” That’s an understatement.
Jessica reaches up to cup my jaw, making me feel even worse.
“I don’t deserve your comfort, Jessica.”
Her eyes soften. “I’m not saying your reaction was the right one, but I get it. I’d have been in shock too,” she says.
I shake my head. “Yeah, but you wouldn’t have acted the way I did. I just lashed out.” I swallow, thinking about the way I fucked him. “He’s the one with cancer, having major surgery tomorrow and I—” My voice cracks. I can’t even finish my sentence.
A pair of strong arms wrap around me from behind, startling me.
“It’s okay Caleb,” Noah says, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end.
I shake my head, and he moves to my side, reaching for my chin, and guiding my gaze to his. The spray from the shower, raining down on all of us.
“Caleb, it’s okay,” he says again, his eyes warm pools of hazel.
“It’s not though, is it? None of this is fucking okay, Noah.”
Squeezing my eyes closed, I try to breathe through the onslaught of emotions.
His mouth ghosts across mine, grounding me before his tongue slips between my lips and he kisses me, healing me, loving me.
When he pulls back, he holds my stare.
“No Caleb, it’s not okay. But I love you and you love me and that’s all that really matters.”
I clear my throat and nod.
“I know when I was diagnosed, I handled it badly. I tried to run, to hide from the truth.”
Shaking my head, I grip his nape. “That’s not the same Noah, what I did was selfish.”
He raises an eyebrow. “No, Caleb, it’s called being human.”
I lean my forehead against his.
“Maybe, but I’m still sorry, more than you’ll ever know.”
Jessica reaches for my other hand and I pull back to look between them.
“I love you both, so damn much.”
