Me: I don’t think it’s too detailed. I’m thirty.
Ground Man: Oh. Do you want to know my age?
Me: You can tell me. I’ll have to take your word for it, though. I still kind of think I’m talking to a Gen-Xer named Jessica or Ashley who just fucks with people on dating apps out of sheer boredom.
Ground Man: That’s oddly specific. Definitely not a Gen-Xer. Although I think I’m a millennial? I’m not sure. I don’t keep up with that kind of shit. I’m thirty-five.
Me: You are a millennial. I’m a hybrid, depending on what info you look at. Some say I’m a millennial, some say I’m Gen Z.
Ground Man: I have no idea what the difference is, other than age. And honestly? I don’t care one bit.
Me: I really don’t either. Bigger issues in the world than generation names.
Ground Man: Back to what is really important: let’s talk about why your profile has zero pictures of you.
Me: Excuse me, that cleavage picture is of me. Don’t even act like you didn’t swipe on me just because of that.
Ground Man: Actually, it was your quote of “I make myself laugh so much, I should date me.”
Me: I am a fucking delight, Ground Man.
Ground Man: I’ll keep that in mind.
Ground Man: Although your tits did appear to be nice ones.
Me: They are. They also love to be played with.
Ground Man: You gonna let me play?
Me: I might.
Ground Man: I bet they’d enjoy being fucked too. Bet you’d look fucking spectacular with my cum on your tits, and dripping off your tongue.
Me: As a matter of fact, I would look spectacular like that. As long as your dick could reach that far. For research purposes, how long are we talking?
Ground Man: I’ve had no complaints, baby. A thick eight inches.
Me: Oh, I love this for me. As a thirty-five-year old, how virile are the older men? I’ll admit, I tend to have extracurriculars with men closer to my age.
Ground Man: I don’t think you’ll be upset. In fact, I bet you enjoy how many times I can make you come before I do.
Ground Man: Tell me, baby. Are you touching yourself right now? Because I am.
Me: God, yes. I’ve been on the edge since your first message.
Ground Man: I know, sweet girl. I bet you’re just aching to have me fill you up.
Me: Fuck, yes! I need it so badly.
Ground Man: I’m imagining how wet you are.
Me: So wet.
Ground Man: God damn. I bet you’re hot and wet, and you’d feel so perfectly snug warming my cock. You stroking that clit for me?
Me: Yes. I’m so close.
Ground Man: Imagine me with my hand wrapped around your neck. My other hand is strumming your clit. I can feel you tensing around me. You’re gonna make me come.
