IT WASN’T JUST ONE CRITTER, REBECCA!
Cassie
Wait. Becca is short for Rebecca, correct?
Becca
Sigh. Yes.
Becca
How many did he come home with?
Cassie
We now have six. SIX FUCKING GUINEA PIGS. Our cage was built for ONE. One varmint was enough. NOW THERE ARE SIX SCREAMING RODENTS KICKING SHIT ALL OVER MY HOUSE.
Audrey
Oh, thank God. I thought it was only my group that did that. Well, it’s really only one of them. The rest are fairly well-behaved.
Me
Mine rarely kick anything out of their cage. Is it possible they’re bored?
Cassie
Hold on, let me ask them.
Cassie
OH, WAIT, THEY’RE FUCKING GUINEA PIGS, LAYLA, THEY DON’T SPEAK.
Me
Oh, I’m sorry.
Cassie
No, I’m sorry. I don’t know you well enough to allow my crazy to show just yet. I’m in a mood and want to complain.
Me
Alright. Here, I can participate. THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS DID WHAT TO YOUR HOUSE?
Cassie
Oh, I like you.
Audrey
Don’t encourage her, Layla. Sometimes she’s a tad feral.
Becca
In her defense, going from one pig to six is a bit of an adjustment. I married Jacob before I knew about the pigs. I wasn’t prepared. It’s a lot ofshrieking. Them, not me.
Becca
