I broke into fresh sobs, and threw myself into his arms. Keir drew me close, pulling me to hischest with strong arms and allowing me to cling like a child. As I wept, he rocked me, drummingmy back gently with his hand, which made me cry that much harder.
"I'm so sorry, so sorry…" I snuffled my nose, and tried to breathe but I could only gasp outthe words. "It's all my fault that—"
"Hush." Keir stroked my back even as he pulled his cloak around us. The warmth of his bodyenfolded me and I sagged into his strength, continuing to cry.
Keir held me for long moments, then pulled away, step-ping to the tent entrance. He closed itagain, entwining more privacy bells into the ties. He returned to my side, coaxed me down tothe pallet, and proceeded to wrap us in blankets, covering us with his cloak. With soft,comforting sounds, he arranged us so I was cradled in his grasp, supported by arms and legs.
The bedding started to warm around us, and I finally caught my breath. He wiped the tearsfrom my face with his hands. I lay silent, within his protection, and felt my body loosen andrelax against his.
I breathed deep, taking in the scents of the stilltent, and the spicy smell of his skin. The warmthof his body was a comfort and I let him support me, feeling my bones melt under his touch. Hemurmured something about the elements, but what he said didn't matter. What meant more washis touch, his strength, his love, all pouring into me without a single word. Just the sound of hisheart beating under my ear, and the feel of his breath on my skin was enough.
His fingers started to work their way through my hair, gently carding out the snarls andtangles.
"You broke the bells." I kept my face buried in the blankets as he continued to stroke my hair.
"I did."
"Isn't that rude?" My breath hitched as I knotted my fists in the blankets.
"Yes." His voice was the barest whisper. "But I'll let nothing stand between me and myWarprize."
Another sob escaped me. His hands shifted and he rubbed my back, soothing me. I lay silent,trying to collect my scattered wits. I could hear the faint sounds of the camp around us, but Ididn't care. Didn't want to care. I was so tired.
'Talk to me, Lara." Keir's voice was deep and soothing and brought fresh tears to my eyes. Ilet them come, not trying to suppress my sorrow.
"It's all so horrible, the sickness, so many dead and Epor, oh Keir—" I gasped for breath, andpulled my head back to look him in the eyes. "Isdra's pain is so deep. And Gils, he was just achild, he tried so hard and he's—" I couldn't finish the sentence. "I keep seeing him convulse,and the dagger—" I wailed, burying my face in his tunic. "Goddess help me, and so muchworse, I bed to you, Keir. I didn't tell—"
His fingers covered my lips and I cried until I was exhausted, so tired, my head pounding, mynose so clogged I couldn't breathe. His leather armor was smooth under my cheek, and I wassure I was getting it messy with my blubbering. Keir seemed not to care, but I did. I forced myhead up, trying to ease out of comfort I had no right to. "It's all my fault, Keir."
He didn't let me out of his arms. His long arm snaked out of our cocoon and grabbed up a cleancloth. He held it out to me. "Blow."
I obeyed, and used the cloth to clean my face and wipe my eyes. He tossed it off to the side andbrought his arm back into the warmth to hold me. His breath was sweet and warm on my cheek.
The ache in my heart eased slightly, within the shelter of the bedding.
"So." His voice was a soft whisper. "You are responsible for all? The illness? The deaths?"
I closed my eyes and nodded.
"How so?"
I opened my eyes, to look into the calm blue of his. "I shouldn't have insisted that I enter thevillage. Shouldn't have lied to you about the waiting period." I swallowed hard, and forced thetruth out. "Shouldn't have thought I could deal with the plague on my own."
He shifted then, arranging us so that he was on his back, allowing me to curl at his side. Oncewe were settled again, he sighed. "You are not the only warrior to take on overwhelmingodds."
I lay my head on his chest.
"Maybe you are right, Lara. On the other hand, maybe the enemy was among us, silent andinvisible even as we argued over what actions to take. The wind blows, and no one can hinder itor dictate its path. If I had overruled you… if we had sent messages back and continued on, wemay have taken the enemy into the Plains… who can say?"
"I'm so sorry."
"Such slight shoulders to take on the weight of all our sorrows." Keir paused for a moment.
"Think on this. What would have happened had you not been here, and we'd no warning, nolessons in illness? If Gils had not listened and learned so well?"
I thought for a moment, then answered honestly. "I don't know."
"That is the hardest truth of all, Lara. That we do not know what might have been or whatcould have been. We only know what is." His arms tightened slightly. "I say to you this truth—
