His arm was wrapped around me, his hand movin’ slow up and down my back while he kissed the top of my forehead every now and then. I could feel his chest risin’ and fallin’ under my cheek, and I felt safe.
I ain’t have to look over my shoulder or worry about who was watchin’ me or what could happen next. Renza ain’t play and I knew that, and even though I ain’t condone everything that came with that, I’d be lyin’ if I said I ain’t feel protected by it.
He had his guns in the Airbnb. I had already clocked that, but that wasn’t even no secret. At the same time, layin’ here on him like this, I ain’t even thinkin’ about none of that. I was just enjoyin’ him.
His phone had been goin’ off for a minute now with calls, texts, all kinds of shit, and every time it lit up, he’d just glance at it real quick and go right back to rubbin’ on me like it wasn’t nothin’ important enough to take him away from me. I ain’t ask no questions either. That wasn’t my place and I wasn’t about to make it my place.
But then another text came through and this time… it seemed different.
I felt it before I even looked up at him. His body shifted just a lil’ bit under me, like somethin’ in him tightened up, and when I lifted my head to look at his face, his eyes was locked on the phone screen in a way they hadn’t been before.
“You good?” I asked, watchin’ him.
He blinked like he had to come back to where he was at, then looked down at me. “Yeah… gimme a minute.”
I nodded and sat up as he slid out from under me, grabbin’ his phone and walkin’ out the livin’ room without sayin’ nothin’ else. I ain’t chase him or ask no extra questions. If a nigga had somethin’ to handle, I was gon’ let him handle it. Simple as that.
I pulled the blanket tighter around me and leaned back into the couch, watchin’ the TV even though my mind wasn’t really on it no more. About ten minutes passed before he came back, and soon as I saw his face, I could tell whatever that text was about, it wasn’t light.
He ain’t say nothin’ when he came back over to me. He just slid back down on the couch and pulled me back on top of him, but it wasn’t the same. His hand was still on me, still rubbin’, but I could tell his mind was somewhere else.
I ain’t say nothin’ though. I just rested my chin on his chest and looked up at him, watchin’ his face while he stared at the TV like he was tryna focus on it but couldn’t.
After a while, he finally looked down at me, and without sayin’ a word, he leaned in and kissed me.
His lips pressed into mine slow, and when he pulled back just a lil’ bit, our lips kinda stuck together for a second like neither one of us was ready to let go yet. It was soft but it had weight to it, like he was tryna say somethin’ without sayin’ it.
He kissed me again, a lil’ deeper this time, then slid his fingers through my hair like he needed to feel me here.
I ain’t ask him what was wrong. I just let him love on me the way he was doin’, ’cause right now, that was enough.
A couple hours passed like that before we finally got up to go to bed. I had the blanket wrapped around me and snacks in one hand while I held on to his hand with the other, walkin’ behind him.
When we got in the room, he rolled up some weed while I climbed in bed, still wrapped up in my blanket. He was shirtless, just in his briefs, and the way his body looked under the light had me starin’.
He lit the blunt and took a pull, then passed it to me, and we sat in silence for a minute just watchin’ whatever was on the TV.
Then he turned his head and looked at me.
“Reni hit my line.”
I paused with the blunt halfway to my lips but I ain’t say nothin’. I just took my hit and handed it back to him, not wanting to react off impulse.
“She hit me a few times since I been out here,” he went on. “I ain’t answer though.”
“Um… okay…” I said, keepin’ my tone even.
He exhaled slow, then looked down for a second before lookin’ back at me. “She texted me sayin’ she pregnant.”
I felt some type of way, but I ain’t show it. I just sat here, listenin’.
“She said she went to the doctor,” he added. “She like… almost nine weeks.”
I swallowed slow but kept my face straight. I knew about him and Reni. I knew that wasn’t no random situation, so I wasn’t about to sit here and act like I had the right to lose it.
Still… it did somethin’ to me.
He sighed and reached for me, pullin’ me closer. “What you thinkin’?”
