I looked up at him, then down for a second before speakin’. “I think you should do what’s in your heart.”
He let out a breath like that answer hit him harder than he expected. “You what’s in my heart, ‘Nelle.”
I nodded slow, but I ain’t even know what to do with that. It sounded good, but the situation wasn’t simple.
“If she really pregnant and she keepin’ the baby,” I said, lookin’ back at him, “then you need to be there. Like… forreal there.”
The way he looked at me after that… it changed.
His eyes softened and his hand came up to my face, his thumb brushin’ over my cheek like he was really seein’ me for what I was sayin’ and not just hearin’ the words. He ain’t say it out loud, but I could tell that meant somethin’ to him.
“You gotta leave?” I asked?
He shook his head and pulled me closer. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere ‘til it’s time for me to leave.”
“You sure?” I asked.
He looked at me like I had said somethin’ crazy, then shook his head again. “Baby… be quiet.”
Then he kissed me.
I kissed him back, slidin’ my hand up his chest while I melted into him, tryna stay right here in this moment and not think too far ahead.
After a second, I laid my head back on his chest, listenin’ to his heartbeat like I had been doin’ earlier.
On the outside, I was cool, but deep down… that shit stung just a lil’.
Greystone City
I was in the bed with Sha’Nelle, starin’ down at my phone, readin’ the same message over and over like that shit was gon’ change the more I looked at it.
Reni had sent a picture of the test, clear as day, and I ain’t even need the caption to know what I was lookin’ at. It was two lines sittin’ there bold.
I never really thought about havin’ kids. That just wasn’t somethin’ that ever crossed my mind like that.
I seen it all around me, though. I seen how my people handled their business when it came to their kids, and I respected it, but I never pictured myself bein’ the one in that position. I was always the one on the outside of it, tellin’ somebody else’s kids to sit they bad asses down or chill the hellout, never once thinkin’ one day I would be responsible for one of my own.
Now here it was, sittin’ in my lap, and I couldn’t ignore it even if I wanted to.
I had already talked to Reni. She did most of the talkin’, and I just listened, takin’ it in while she told me what was goin’ on and how far along she was. When she sent the picture, it was like she was stampin’ it, makin’ it real as hell.
I sat here for a minute, then finally texted back and asked her what she wanted to do, and she answered quick like she had already made her mind up. She told me she ordered some abortion pills and that she had to take ‘em before she hit nine weeks, and the only thing she asked from me was to not make her go through that shit alone.
I couldn’t even argue with that.
I told her I was gon’ be back in a few days and that I’d come by, and she said okay like that was all she needed to hear. That was the end of it, at least for now, and when another message came through, I set the phone down on the dresser and left it there.
I knew what I had to do on that end. That part wasn’t what had me stuck. It was everything else.
I turned my head and looked at Sha’Nelle, and it hit me how much I ain’t wanna let this go or even shift it into somethin’ weird. The past few days with her had been too smooth and easy, like we slid into somethin’ that ain’t need no effort to make sense.
In the shower, I had her pinned up against the tile with hot water runnin’ down both of us while she clung to me. I had her legs locked around my waist and moanin’ in my ear while I was givin’ it to her. On the couch, I had her bent over the armrest, grabbin’ at them soft hips while she looked back at me, talkin’ shit and takin’ every stroke. In the bed, I slowed it down andreally got in her. Even out on the patio, I had her pressed up against me under the night air with her hands all over me while she tried to stay quiet and failed every time.
I had been wearin’ her ass out, and she was takin’ it and givin’ it right back like she had been waitin’ on this just like I had.
And the crazy part was, it wasn’t just the sex.
I exhaled and shifted on the bed, and that’s when she moved. She had been layin’ on her back, but as soon as I set my phone down, she rolled over on her side to face me. I turned with her, gettin’ on my side so we was lined up, face to face, and close enough where I could see every lil’ change in her expression.
