I had been floatin’ from one side of the yacht to the other, havin’ my moments, answerin’ calls when I felt like it, and ignorin’ ’em when I didn’t, ’cause none of this shit felt good to me no more.
My phone had rang more times than I could count these last couple days, and I let most of that shit go. It wasn’t even about nobody doin’ too much. I just ain’t feel like talkin’. I ain’t feel like explainin’. I ain’t feel like actin’ like everything was cool when it wasn’t. That’s not where I was at with this shit no more.
I took a sip from my drink and looked out at the water for a second, then back at everybody else and I could feel that distance sittin’ on me whether I wanted to admit it or not.
This shit was supposed to be easy. This was supposed to be me bringin’ my woman around my people and just enjoyin’ it, lettin’ her fall into the vibe, and lettin’ everything move how it naturally do.
Instead, this shit turned into tension, attitudes, and me feelin’ like I had to keep pickin’ sides without nobody actually sayin’ it. That’s the part that was really fuckin’ with a nigga.
Ain’t nobody come to me sayin’, “Choose,” but the way shit had been goin’, that’s what it started feelin’ like, and I wasn’t built for all that dumb, petty shit.
I wasn’t about to turn my back on my family, and I wasn’t about to keep bendin’ myself tryna make Reni comfortable when all I had been doin’ was tryna love her the way I knew how. But… that shit wasn’t landin’.
If anything, it felt like the more I tried, the worse the shit got.
I ran my hand down my face and let out a slow breath, then pushed myself off the rail and started walkin’ over to where everybody else was.
Kay’Lo spotted me first and grabbed me up when I got close. “’Bout time you popped back out,” he said, smirkin’ like he already knew what type of time I had been on.
“Yeah,” I muttered, noddin’ once.
Pressure looked at me next, his eyes runnin’ over my face like he was readin’ more than what I was sayin’. “You good?” he asked.
“I’m straight,” I replied, but I ain’t put no extra on it.
He ain’t press me about it. He just nodded and went back to helpin’ Pluto with her bag.
I hated how shit had went left before it even got a chance to be right.
Reni had texted me about the drama between her and Pluto days ago. Toni had already said her piece too, so I wasn’t goin’ into it blind. I had heard enough from both sides to know how it went, and from the way it played out, I knew I ain’t like it.
It wasn’t even about whether Reni had a reason to feel how she felt. I just ain’t like that she let it go there, especially with Pluto bein’ pregnant. It just wasn’t the place for all that, and it should’ve never got to that point.
I grabbed my shit and moved with everybody else as we started headin’ off the yacht, keepin’ my mouth shut and my thoughts to myself ’cause I ain’t feel like goin’ back and forth about nothin’ else. I had already did enough of that, and at this point, I was just ready to get off the damn boat and be done with it.
Reni walked behind me without sayin’ much, and I felt her more than I actually looked back at her. The space between us ain’t feel right, but I ain’t turn around to fix it either. I just kept walkin’, while the rest of the family moved around us, talkin’ and laughin’ like the trip hadn’t went how it did.
When we got down to where the cars was, I popped the trunk and reached for Reni’s luggage before she could grab it herself, liftin’ it up and settin’ it inside without sayin’ nothin’.
She stood there for a second like she was waitin’ on me to say somethin’, and I felt that, but I ain’t give her nothin’ to work with. I closed the trunk, walked around to the driver’s side, and got in like it was just another ride, even though it ain’t feel like that at all.
She got in on her side a second later, and the tension followed us into the car without either of us acknowledgin’ it. I started the engine and pulled off, keepin’ my eyes on the road while she sat quiet, and whatever she had on her mind stayed right there with her ’cause I wasn’t askin’ about it.
I kept my hands on the wheel and my eyes on the road, not even glancin’ over like I normally would.
That silence between us wasn’t comfortable or peaceful at all, and it just sat here in the car. It was clear that neither one of us had nothin’ left to say.
Five days on that yacht, and the only thing me and her had been consistent with was turnin’ our backs on each other in that bed. That shit alone irritated me ’cause I ain’t even get down like that. I ain’t like goin’ to sleep mad. I ain’t like layin’ up next to somebody I was dealin’ with and feelin’ like we was on opposite sides of the room even when we was right next to each other.
All I be wantin’ is my woman next to me, coolin’, vibin’ and enjoyin’ the moment without all that extra shit hangin’ over us.
I was plannin’ on layin’ up, suckin’ on her pussy all night while the water moved under us. I wanted to fuck her good and keep her right the whole trip, and not dealin’ with attitudes and sleepin’ with our backs turned like we had problems every damn day. But with Reni, it always felt like it was somethin’. If it wasn’t one thing, it was a got damn nother, and I had just reached a point where I ain’t feel like explainin’ myself or tryna make hersee it from my side when it seemed like she already made her mind up about how she felt.
I finally pulled up to her condo and put the car in park. Neither of us moved right away like we both knew what this was but ain’t feel like bein’ the first to say it.
After a few seconds, Reni finally turned toward me.
“Renza… give me my key back,” she said.
