I looked at her for a second, and my mind went straight to all the other times she had did this same shit.
This wasn’t the first time she tried to take her key back from me, and it damn sure wasn’t the first time she got in her feelins and switched up like that. She had even went as far as changin’ the locks on me before, just to turn around later and hand me a new key.
Back then, I ain’t take it lightly at all. I had somethin’ to say, I had energy behind it and I wanted answers ’cause I wasn’t about to let her play with me like that.
This time, I ain’t feel none of that shit.
I reached for my keys, pulled her key off my ring, and placed it in her hand without sayin’ a word, and I ain’t hesitate or question it like I would’ve before. Hell, at this point, I knew where she was at with it.
I could tell by the way she looked at me that it hit her different than she expected, like she thought I was gon’ say somethin’ or push back, but I ain’t have it in me to do none of that this time.
I had clothes at Reni’s place. I had shoes, and other shit I had brought over piece by piece.
I ain’t mention that shit, and I ain’t ask about it or say when I was gon’ come get it. She opened the door and stepped out, grabbin’ her luggage.
I stayed right in the driver’s seat, watchin’ it play out without sayin’ a word.
I watched her walk away, with my hand still restin’ on the wheel while my chest tightened just enough for me to feel it.
Yeah, a nigga was hurt and felt some type of way. This shit wasn’t easy for me, ’cause I loved Reni and I had really tried with her. At some point though, I had to be real with myself…
Love wasn’t supposed to feel like you was constantly dealin’ with somethin’ that wasn’t gettin’ no better. It shouldn’t feel like you keep tryna meet somebody halfway and still end up in the same place every time.
It wasn’t supposed to feel like you had to change how you move just to keep somebody from havin’ a problem, and it damn sure wasn’t supposed to feel like you had to choose between your woman and your family when you ain’t did shit to deserve that.
I kept watchin’ her walk, but I ain’t call out to her or try to stop her.
Even though this shit hurt, I knew I had to let Reni go ’cause it just wasn’t workin’ no more.
Greystone City
I had just clocked out and was makin’ my way through the parkin’ lot, diggin’ in my bag for my keys while my body reminded me real quick that I had been sittin’ and dealin’ with people all day.
The call center wasn’t hard work, but it was the type of job that drained you in a different way. It was a whole lot of talkin’, a whole lot of fake patience and a whole lot of people callin’ in already mad like you personally did somethin’ to them.
My shift was always the same, which was from eight in the mornin’ to three-thirty, and by the time I clock out, I be ready to not hear nobody voice but mine.
Some days be chill, some days be full of folks complainin’ about bills and actin’ like I could magically fix their life over thephone. I learned how to keep my tone sweet and my attitude in check, but that ain’t mean it didn’t take somethin’ outta me.
Still, I couldn’t even complain too much, ’cause that job was the reason I was finally in my own place. And that alone made everything worth it.
I smiled to myself as I hit the unlock button and heard my car chirp, thinkin’ about my apartment.
My apartment…
That still felt new rollin’ around in my head like that. I had gone ahead and got a two-bedroom instead of a one, and everybody kept askin’ me why, but it made sense to me. If Kay’Lo and Toni ever pulled up with the baby, I wanted them to have space. I wanted it to feel like somewhere they could actually kick it, especially ’cause they had been so good to me. Plus, I liked space.
I also liked walkin’ in my own shit and not hearin’ nobody else movin’ around. I liked bein’ able to come home, take my clothes off, throw on somethin’ comfortable and just exist without nobody in my ear.
As much as I loved Grandma Glo, and I did; it wasn’t nothin’ like havin’ your own shit.
I still made it my business to go check on her though. I wasn’t about to just leave her over there and act like she ain’t need lookin’ after. I popped up on her randomly just to make sure everything was straight, and make sure nobody wasn’t comin’ through playin’ with her or messin’ up her house. That was still my home too in a way, but it felt different now that I had somewhere else to go.
I slid into the driver’s seat and shut the door, lettin’ out a breath before startin’ the car. I sat for a second with my hands on the wheel, thinkin’ about how I was about to go home, shower, roll up and mind my business for the rest of the night. That sounded real good to me. But first, I needed gas.
I pulled out the lot and headed down the street to this gas station I always went to. It wasn’t too far, and it had everything right there in one strip. There was a barbershop on the end, an ice cream spot next to it, the gas station sittin’ in the middle and a couple other lil’ stores that stayed busy throughout the day.
By the time I pulled in, it was still a few people out there. Some niggas was sittin’ outside the barbershop, talkin’ loud like they always did. A couple kids was walkin’ out the ice cream place with cones in they hand, and the pumps had cars scattered around them.
