Something flickered in Maverick’s stare. Not anger, or judgment, or anything like that, but something sad, wistful. He cupped my cheeks and wiped the tears away gently, his deep voice soft and smooth as he spoke. “Who the hell am I to judge you for what you decide to do with your body? It ain’t my place. For the record, though, I think you’d be a great mom.”
A sob escaped me, my knees all but buckling under the weight of his kind words. They just made me feel worse. Worse, because I didn’t agree and I didn’t really think I wanted to take the risk in finding out.
Maverick was there to catch me. As always. Funny how in less than a week, I’d become entirely too dependent on him picking up the broken pieces of my soul. I was too selfish to stop him right now, though. Maybe I’d always be.
“The dad…” Maverick asked, “Is it the guy you told me about? The one you chased off with a cattle prod?”
I nodded.
“You gonna tell him before you make a decision?”
I blew out a shaky breath. “I wasn’t plannin’ on it. Especially since I’m not plannin’ on k-keepin’ it.”
Saying the words aloud seemed even more awful than when they’d formed in my mind. But I couldn’t have a baby. Maverickmay be right. Maybe I could be a good mom, but not right now. I just… This wasn’t how I wanted to bring a new life into the world.
It didn’t stop the guilt from gnawing at me, though.
Maverick nodded, running a hand back into my hair as he cupped my head. “Tell him. Even if you ain’t plannin’ on keepin’ it, you should still tell him. I’d wanna know if I were in his position.”
“Even if he’s a piece of shit?” I sniffled.
He nodded, that same emotion swirling in his eyes that I couldn’t quite pin down. I pursed my lips, patting my back pocket for my phone only to remember it was still in the bathroom. “I’ll go call him.”
He dipped his head once more, his lips parting like he wanted to say something before closing. He blew out a breath and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. “I’ll be right here.”
Chapter thirty
Red Rag Top
Maverick
I’d figured she waspregnant, but knowing for sure now… Fuck.
Did this change things? Of course, it did. But how much?
She’s gettin’ rid of it.
My stomach clenched at the thought. I hadn’t lied to Chey when I’d told her I wouldn’t judge her for her decision. It was her body, her life. But the idea of giving up such a precious gift—Stop. It ain’t like it’s yours.
What would people think of us if she were to keep it? I could only imagine what they’d say. I’d never much cared what others thought, and while I knew Cheyenne didn’t either, dealing with that would be a whole other level of hell I don’t think either of us were prepared to deal with.
Especially with us being so new—whatever “us” was. I still wasn’t quite sure.
She’d gotten me to talk. She’d pulled me out of the darkness. She’d seen me at my lowest, my worst, and she hadn’t run. She’d planted wildflowers in the darkest parts of my soul and brought me back to life.
I cared about her, that’s for sure. Deeply. Truly. And I wanted to explore whatever connection we had more. Regardless of what she decided. Hell, I’d take care of her and the baby too. I wanted to tell her that, but how did I say that without making her feel like I was pressuring her to keep it? A baby that wasn’t even mine.
It’s not my place.
I paced the deck. I wondered what her ex would say. She’d not mentioned much about him other than the cattle prod incident. Would he want her to keep it? Would he convince her to take him back?
My heart clenched at that and I bit back a curse. An ember of possessive rage bloomed in my chest. I didn’t want to let her go. I would if I had to, but—fuck. I clenched my fists at my sides.
“I called him.”
Cheyenne’s weak voice stopped my heart for a moment. I whirled to face her, taking her in. She leaned against the doorframe, like she was too weak to hold herself up. Tears shone in her turquoise eyes, her bottom lip trembling as she tried to hold in the brunt of her sobs.
I moved to her, reaching out a hand to pull her to me, but I let it fall. What if she changed her mind and didn’t want me touching her?
