I look up after Grey quietly says my name.
“Reuben was completely devastated after he lost you. He came back from Afghanistan the last time, and he wassofucked up. He was drinking heavily and at the height of his PTSD. I was afraid to leave him alone for a long time. I practically moved into his cottage in the Highlands.”
“Why are you telling me that?”
“The same reason you’re speaking to me. Reuben won’t tell you himself and you need to know all of him.”
“It makes my heart hurt.” I sigh. “I’m grateful you were there for him, but I feel so bad I didn’t know.”
“Don’t be. He didn’t want you to know, and he went to a lot of effort to make sure that you didn’t.”
“Yes, that’s part of the problem too. Thank you for helping him.”
“It was my pleasure.” He hesitates. “I hope you’ll be okay with us being friends. I don’t think I’d recognise a world where I wasn’t Reuben’s friend.”
“I wouldnevercome between Reuben and a friend,” I say instantly. “I don’t want him to lose anything more in his life.”
“Thank you.” He shrugs. “So that’s it. That’s the whole story.”
I lower my head back to the counter and consider staying this way forever. I groan. “What amess. It’s a good job he’s pretty and good in bed because he surely is a lot of fucking work.”
I hear the door open, and then Reuben’s voice echoes like a gunshot. “What thehell? Xavier? Are you alright?”
His hands are gentle but insistent as he pulls me up. His eyes are frantic when our gazes catch and hold. He strokes my face. “What is it?” He looks over at Grey. “What have you said to him?”
“The truth,” I say softly.
He curses long and creatively for a few seconds and then turns on Grey. “Youpromisednot to say anything.”
Grey grimaces. “Not really.”
“His response was a nod. It was a technicality,” I tell Reuben.
Grey stirs. “I’ll just be in the utility room while you talk.”
I stand up. “It’s fine. We’re going.” I reach into my pocket and grab the key. “Will you look after Bernard?”
“Is that the giant puppy currently digging up my garden?”
“He shows his love differently to other people, and he’s a tiny baby.”
“He really isn’t, but fine. I’ll look after him.” He makes a shooing gesture at Reuben. “Go and talk. Ring if you come up for air after that and want food or need to speak to me.”
“How about I don’t ever speak to you again, and we’ll say that’s a technicality too?”
I roll my eyes. “Don’t be so fucking dramatic, Reuben.”
“I like this one,” Grey calls after us. “Please keep him.”
chapter 20
. . .
Xavier
Reuben follows me out of the cottage and down the path. “Where are we going?” he finally asks.
I flourish the key. “I have a place.”
