“Of course you have. You’ve only been on the island for ninety fucking minutes.”
“It’s my natural charm. It brings all the boys to my yard.”
He doesn’t reply when he’d usually snark, and I look sideways at him. His face is set and hard to read. I wonder what my own face says. I think probably anger and sadness mixed with complete and utter understanding for the first time.
We go another several steps and then I come to a complete stop. He turns instantly. “What is it?” he asks urgently.
“Erm, I don’t actually know where I’m going.”
“Oh, dear.” His lip twitches, and then he bursts into laughter. It’s loud, and he has a startled look on his face as if it’s caught him by surprise, and it makes me laugh, too. That stops abruptly when he drags me into his arms.
“What is it?” I say as he presses his face into my neck, breathing fast. My hands roam over him, squeezing his shoulders, all my attention on him. “Tell me, baby.”
He looks up at that. “Swear that you haven’t changed your mind.”
“Aboutyou?” I say incredulously. He nods, and I cup his face, enjoying the bliss of finally being free to touch him. It’s a pleasure-pain, like my limbs have been winter cold, and now I can feel the first touch of spring. “Did you hear what I said on that beach, or have the years eroded your hearing?” My goal of annoying him is achieved when his eyes narrow.
“I believe my hearing is as good as ever, thank you very much.”
“Maybe it’s your brain, then, Reuben. I said I love you.”
He stares at me, looking completely gobsmacked. “Actually, you didn’t.”
“What?”
His smile is the gentlest I’ve ever seen. “You never said it, Xavi.”
I gape at him, my mind frantically running back over the conversation. “Oh mygod, I didn’t say it back.”
The silence stretches for a long moment. “Hmm,” he finally says.
I wave my hands in the air. “Well, ofcourseI fucking love you.”
He gasps, and his face is suddenly full of such open joy. “You do?”
I nod frantically. “I never stopped. The truth is that you’re the only man I ever really see. The only reason I hated you so much was that I loved you at the same time.” I rub my foot on the sandy path, feeling the grit catch against my trainers. “I know I haven’t been exactly celibate,” I add awkwardly.
“And that’s completely okay.”
“But I really only slept with them to get back at you.” I grimace. “Bad choices, all, but actually more proof that you are the only man in the world to me.”
“I adore the way you look at things.”
“Well, you’ll really like this outlook, then. I love you. My love for you has worked its way into my blood and bones. You’re complicated, irritating, and entirely convinced that you are always right. Your sense of humour veers more into sarcasm than most people find comfortable, you take brooding to obscene levels, and?—”
“I’m not completely enjoying this particular perspective.”
“But you’re mine, and I’m yours, and that’s just the way it is. The way it’s been since I picked you up in a bar when I was nineteen. You’re probably the only person in this world for whom I’ve ever felt real love, let alone admitted it.”
“I’m sad at that.”
“Of course you are.”
He drags me into him, and I wind my arms around his waist. I can’t get close enough, and neither, it appears, can he. We sway in the breeze, and for the moment, all I can feel is this happiness that’s so bright but still so fragile. Like a bubble in a storm. We have so much still to talk about, to get through.
As if echoing my thoughts, he looks down at me and asks, “What did Grey actually tell you?” He brushes a wave of hair back from my forehead, his fingers soft on my skin.
“Don’t be angry with him.”
