“Then you had better apologize for whatever you did or said when she offered you that key. Because I’m guessing you freaked out and did something stupid.” Jake clapped Ryan on the back, before hefting a box of liquor bottles into his arms and heading toward the front of the bar. As he walked away, he stopped and turned. “I can finish up here. Go and find your woman and make this right.”
Ryan grinned at Jake’s retreating back. Somehow Jake knew just how to cut through the bullshit in Ryan’s head, and get him to see the truth.
* * *
Anna folded one of Ryan’s shirts that had been in her laundry. The soft feel of the cotton knit was comforting, as was the basic act of putting his clothes in a drawer next to hers. She had been on autopilot all morning since Ryan had left, going through her daily tasks like a robot, unaware of the world around her.
Anna was not a stupid woman. She might have made some bad decisions in her past and turned a blind eye to her ex’s behavior for far too long, but she was no idiot. She knew that Ryan’s abrupt departure had little to do with inventory at the bar, and a lot to do with his heart.
She refused to allow herself to feel hurt or embarrassed by the fact that he had bolted just moments after she offered him a key to her home. No, Anna knew that Ryan was battling his own demons. She recalled something Callie had said to her weeks ago.
“Ryan’s dad was a real jerk. Treated his mom like garbage and walked out on them when Ryan was just a kid. From what Jake says, Ryan looks exactly like him. I think he’s always been worried he’ll turn out like his dad if he allows himself to get close to someone.”
Anna sighed as she considered the past twenty-four hours from Ryan’s perspective, using Callie’s observations. She could understand why he had bolted right after making the commitment to having a key to her home. Knowing the type of male role model he had as a boy growing up, of course he was scared of commitment. From what she had seen over the last several weeks, she knew he was a kind and generous man, and that hurting someone, even inadvertently, would destroy him. How could she get him to see that she trusted him, fully, and had no fears of him breaking her heart. If anything, Anna worried that she would be the one to cause pain in their relationship. There was no way of knowing what Tim might attempt or when. Every moment they spent together, Anna battled with the guilt that she was placing him and their friends in harm’s way.
Anna wandered into the kitchen, stopped beside Samson’s bed and sat down on the floor with him. He lifted his head and rested it in her lap with a snuffle of contentment. She took a deep breath, allowing the peaceful love of an innocent animal wash over her.
“What are we going to do about that man, Samson?” she mused aloud, figuring the dog was as good a listener as anyone. “I’m falling in love with him. So how do I get him to realize he is perfect just the way he is, and I would trust him with my heart and my life?”
“I’d say those words will work pretty damn well, sweetheart.” Ryan’s deep voice held a tender note.
Anna jumped in surprise. “What are you doing here? I didn’t hear the door open. Oh god, that was not how I wanted to tell you!” She moaned in embarrassment. The realization that Ryan had just overheard her profess her love for him, to the dog, was mortifying.
He laughed then sat down beside her on the floor and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “The door was unlocked, Anna,” he chided her gently. “I guess you and Samson were having such a serious conversation you didn’t hear me come in.” He tightened his hold around her shoulders, and when he spoke again, his voice was soft, hesitant but hopeful. “Did you mean it? Are you really falling in love with me?”
Anna turned in his arms so she could look him in the eyes. What she saw there melted her. Love was brimming on the surface of his clear blue eyes, infusing his face with a joyful, peaceful look.
“Of course I meant it, you silly man. Do you think I would lie to the dog?” she teased, trying to keep the conversation light as she fought her own nerves. Would he say it back?
“Thank god for your honesty, woman. Because I am most definitely in love with you, and your confessor of a dog.”
Relief and love flooded through Anna’s body as she scrambled to climb into Ryan’s lap. She needed to feel him beneath her, within her, around her.
“I. Love. You.” Anna interspersed her words with kisses that she peppered all over Ryan’s cheeks. It may have only been a few hours since they were naked in her bed, but she was consumed with need for him.
Ryan stood up swiftly, pulling her up with him. He bent and placed one arm under her knees, and lifted her into his arms, and strode determinedly toward the bedroom.
“Anna, you need to be naked and I need to be inside of you, now. When I’m done, you’ll feel my love so deep in your soul you’ll never forget.”
Chapter 16
The euphoric bliss of admitting their love for one another carried Anna and Ryan through the following week. Jake had begun to tease Ryan for what he called the “lovesick fool” look on his face. Ryan had taken the ribbing, knowing he had been just as annoying when Jake first fell for Callie. Besides, his heart was so full of love, there was no room for something as petty as frustration or anger. Not toward his best friend.
One afternoon, Ryan brought Anna to have coffee with his mother. Molly Carlisle was just as taken with Anna as Ryan figured she would be. The two women talked for hours about every topic under the sun, from Anna’s dream to become a teacher, to Ryan’s childhood antics. Pure happiness filled his soul seeing the two women he loved more than anything, getting along so well. When they stood up to put on their coats to leave, Ryan glanced at his mother to see her looking wistfully at the two of them. When she noticed him watching, she smiled warmly, and reached her hands out to clasp each of theirs.
“Anna, words cannot express how happy I am right now. You have brought my boy to life in a way I never thought possible. I see your heart and his wrapped around each other, and it warms my own. You are always welcome here, my dear, and I hope Ryan brings you around again soon.”
Anna leaned forward and gave her a hug. “Thank you, Molly, you have raised an incredible man, and I feel lucky to have him, and now you, in my life.” She turned to Ryan with a wink. “I’ll definitely be back soon, let me know when you find the photo album of baby pictures!”
Molly and Anna laughed as Ryan rolled his eyes at that. “Okay, let’s get out of here before Mom thinks of any more ways to embarrass me.”
With a final flurry of hugs, they left. As Ryan held open the door of the truck for Anna to climb in, she paused with one foot stepped up into the cab and turned to him.
“Your mom is incredible. It’s clear that she is where you get your amazing heart from. Thank you for taking me to meet her, I hope you never lose sight of how lucky you are to have her.”
Ryan knew her poignant words reflected her pain over losing her parents and her aunt. He leaned into the cab of the truck to press a kiss to her forehead. He didn’t know how to ease her grief, or if he even could.
“I know how lucky I am. I’m sorry I will never get to meet your parents, or your aunt. But, trust me, Mom considers you family now. I know it’s not the same but…” his voice trailed off, as he stood there, uncertain of what to say.
