It could have sounded controlling, but it didn’t. Anna believed that his intentions were pure, and this was a man who only wanted to help—not hurt her.
On impulse, Anna reached across the center console to give Ryan a hug. If he was surprised, he didn’t show it, holding her securely but with a gentle touch. Pulling back after a moment, Anna immediately missed the feel of Ryan’s strong arms embracing her. It had felt like heaven to be held by someone again.
“Well, I should get inside and make sure I can still turn the lights on.” Anna hoped her light tone was enough to dispel the simmering heat she could sense starting to build from that innocent hug.
“I’ll walk you to the door.”
“No really, it’s okay.”
“Anna, I insist.” The look of firm but kind resolve in Ryan’s deep blue eyes was enough to get Anna to acquiesce.
In silence they trudged toward the house together, Ryan thoughtfully stomping down a path through the snow with his much larger feet. On the porch, Anna dug the key out of her pocket and opened the front door. She was deeply relieved when the lights came on. Turning back to Ryan, she found herself hesitating. Their brief embrace in his truck had lit a spark that she was both drawn to and scared of. Anna was filled with the fear that Tim would somehow find her and tear her away from any sort of life she built. She knew there was no way she could start a relationship of any kind other than friendship. Still, she felt a pang of regret that Tim had the power to ruin something before it could truly begin. Not that she could define what that thing was, she just knew the feelings between her and Ryan could lead to something amazing, if her life were not such a mess. She straightened her spine, and felt her resolve stiffen with it. She stuck her hand out awkwardly for a handshake, to avoid another tempting hug. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon. Thanks again for everything, Ryan.”
He glanced down at her hand, then back at her quizzically, then took her hand and held it warmly. “I’ll be here to drive you to the bar around noon, okay?”
She struggled to ignore the warmth that filled her heart at his selfless offer. So much for keeping her distance, this man was making it impossible for her to stay away. “Oh, you don’t have to, really, I can walk or take the bus. I can’t keep imposing.”
“Anna, hear me please, I just want to help. My mom raised me to care for others and help if I can. Giving you a ride is no big deal, so please let me.” His voice rang with sincerity, and Anna could do nothing more than nod. Ryan smiled, then turned on his heel and walked back to his truck.
Anna closed the front door and let the peace of the empty, yet familiar, house fill her soul. It was blessedly warm, and she briefly wondered who had paid the utilities to keep the furnace and electricity running since Aunt Theresa’s passing. Regardless, she was safe here. After wandering through the main floor of the house—filled with worn-out furniture and walls that desperately needed a fresh coat of paint—Anna headed up the staircase, allowing memories of her childhood to flood her heart and mind. She found herself upstairs standing in her aunt’s bedroom, tears gathering in her eyes as the grief of her passing hit her again. Someone had obviously kept the house clean and boxed up all the clothing and personal items from the bathroom. But the quilt on the queen-sized bed was the same one Anna remembered snuggling under as a child. Closing the door of the room filled with memories, Anna took a deep breath before turning to another bedroom: the one that had been hers as a child. She knew that Aunt Theresa had planned to turn it into a guest bedroom when Anna left for college, but she was surprised to see some familiar touches. The photo prints of plumeria blossoms that were Anna’s favorite flower were still on the wall, in the same place that she had hung them during her last year of high school. Her desk and chair were still in the corner, but the bed and duvet were new, as was the rug on the floor. The room was small, but held great comfort for Anna. Needing to feel her aunt’s presence, she went back to the master bedroom and gathered the old quilt off the bed. And when she had brushed her teeth and pulled on some warm pajamas, Anna wrapped herself up in the quilt, inhaled deeply to catch the faint scent of her aunt’s perfume, and allowed the nostalgia and love she still felt in the house hold her close as she drifted to sleep.
* * *
The next morning, after making her way with bleary eyes to the outdated kitchen, Anna was relieved to find some instant coffee in the cupboard. It certainly wasn’t the best cup of coffee she’d ever had, but the caffeine worked its way into her system, helping her wake up. As she contemplated how to spend her morning, there was a knock at the door, followed by the bark of a dog. Curious but cautious, Anna made her way to the front door and looked through the peephole. There on her front porch stood an older woman, dressed in a warm coat. In her arms she held what appeared to be a box full of food, and at her feet sat a large dog that looked like a cross between a German Shepherd and something else. The woman and the dog both had friendly looking faces, so Anna swallowed her nerves and opened the door to greet her visitors.
“Oh hello, Anna dear! I do hope we didn’t wake you, but Samson was desperate to come home,” said the strange woman, with a welcoming voice.
The dog bounded past Anna and ran through the house before going to lie down on a dog bed beside the couch that she had not noticed the night before.
“Ah, there we go, he’s so happy to be back.” There was an air of satisfaction in the woman’s voice—the woman who still had not introduced herself. But Anna surmised the dog must be Samson.
“I’m sorry, Ma’am, but who are you? And whose dog is that?” Anna asked, stepping back to allow the older woman to come in out of the cold.
The woman chuckled. “Oh goodness, I’m sorry, I’m Sally Tisdale, your next-door neighbor. I moved in two years ago and your Aunt Theresa and I became very dear friends. When she fell sick, she asked me to keep an eye on the house and care for Samson until you came home.” A sad look crossed Sally’s face, as she set the box of food on the ground and took off her jacket. “Theresa knew you would come back eventually. I don’t know much but I know she was worried about you, that’s why she told her lawyer it was so important that he find you and make sure you knew you always had a home here. She wanted you to be safe and happy.”
Anna was floored by what Sally said. And the guilt that flooded her heart, knowing she was not there when her aunt needed her the most, threatened to crush her. Every time Anna talked about going to visit Aunt Theresa, Tim found a way to keep her in California. It was scary to realize how he had used fear and manipulation to make Anna follow his demands. The destruction to her self-esteem, and the loss of all her relationships, had broken her spirit for a long time.
Oblivious to the turmoil in Anna’s heart, Sally continued, “Anna, my dear, she adored you. She was so confident you would do well at college and become a teacher like you always planned. Her dream was always for you to come back to Portland and re-start your life here. She adopted that silly dog, Samson, just last year, right before she got sick. He’s a love of a dog, but I’m afraid I just can’t keep him.”
Sally patted Anna’s shoulder, then picked up the box of food from the floor and walked into the kitchen. Anna followed her in a daze, trying to process everything Sally had said, as well as her own guilt and pain over the distress she was certain her aunt must have felt.
In the kitchen, Sally started to unpack the box, which was full of the basics: milk, bread, coffee, some apples, and various vegetables. Over her shoulder she told Anna, “There should still be some meat in the freezer, assuming you aren’t a vegetarian. I put in a couple of casseroles earlier this week, so there should be enough to get you through a couple of days. Oh, and I checked the food in the pantry and it’s all fresh.” Sally paused in her work, looking at Anna fondly. “It’s hard to believe she’s been gone three weeks already. The cancer took her so quickly, I suppose it was a blessing she didn’t suffer for long. One day she was here, working in the yard and playing crib with me, the next she was in a hospital bed, making me promise to watch Samson and keep the house maintained until you came home. I have to say, I was quite happy to see that porch light on this morning. Theresa’s lawyer told me you had a key, but I had no idea when you would actually arrive. It’s good to see life in the house again.”
Unable to form a response, Anna simply walked over to the woman who obviously loved her aunt almost as dearly as she had and pulled her into a hug. She hoped that Sally would be able to share stories about her aunt over the last few years and was incredibly thankful that Aunt Theresa had such a good friend.
“Sally, I don’t even know what to say. Thank you for the food, and for caring for the house and Samson.”
“Oh, nonsense, my dear, it’s my pleasure. I’ll leave you to settle in and get acquainted with Samson. He’s a friendly mutt and loves to run in the backyard.” Sally walked toward the front door. She opened it and paused, looking back thoughtfully at Anna who had followed her. “Your aunt thought you might be in some kind of trouble down in California. Now, I won’t pry but if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. You’re not alone, Anna.” With a loving smile and a wave, Sally closed the door, leaving Anna by herself once more.
She wandered back into the kitchen, made a fresh cup of coffee, and looked at the big dog who had moved to sit in the kitchen by the back door, and was looking at her curiously. “Well, Samson, I guess it’s you and me boy. I’ve never had a dog, so be nice okay?” She opened the door, and with a happy bark Samson ran down into the backyard, and raced around the open space, kicking up snow everywhere. A spontaneous laugh came from Anna, as the pure joy in the dog’s behavior lifted her spirits. Nothing had gone as she had expected it to since she arrived in Portland. Fear that Tim may find her still lingered in her mind, and she knew she might someday have to address the horrific events that had forced her to run. At least for now, Anna was content to stand in the peaceful space of the kitchen, watching Samson play and feeling her aunt’s spirit fill her with a strength she hadn’t felt in a very long time.
Chapter 3
Ryan let out a massive yawn as he stumbled into his small kitchen that morning. He had not slept for more than half an hour at a time, tossing and turning, his head filled with thoughts of Anna. She had seemed so vulnerable last night and yet so easily trusting of him, for which he was very thankful. He was still surprised at his visceral reaction to her; never had a woman stirred such a strong protective instinct within him.
As he drank a cup of coffee, feeling the hot jolt of caffeine start to wake up his mind, his thoughts drifted to his mom. Molly Carlisle had been harping on at Ryan and his brother to “grow up and settle down” for a while now, no matter how many times Ryan reminded her that he was only thirty-two. He knew she had worried for a long time whether Ryan would ever find his way after his injury in college, but now working with Jake and running the bar was the most fulfilling thing Ryan had ever done—next to soccer. As for the settling down part, for the first time ever Ryan now found himself wondering if he could be capable of a real relationship. For so many years he had satisfied his physical needs with meaningless one-night stands. Anything to avoid turning out like his dad; a cheater and a loser who left a woman with two kids and nothing else. He was desperate to avoid causing, or receiving, the deep pain that his mother had carried for so many years, pain that came from love.
Ryan knew he had the same Irish charm and good looks as his father, and he couldn’t help but wonder if that charm meant he was also destined to hurt any woman he fell for. So, he consciously avoided falling in the first place. The irony was, his older brother, Noah, was just as good looking and charming, but was a die-hard romantic who believed in true love and desperately wanted to find his soul mate. The two brothers were close, despite their differences, and never missed a chance to tease each other mercilessly about their dating experiences. Now, after so many years spent believing he would never end up in a relationship, Ryan found himself questioning that belief. Wanting it to be wrong, wanting to be involved with a specific someone.
