I was so focused on getting the job done and getting out of there that I didn’t hear someone walk up behind me as I climbed down the ladder to get some more nails. Next thing I know, I turn around and bump into a wall of soft skin.
“Shoot!” Was all I heard before ice-cold liquid seeped through my shirt.
“Damn, that’s cold.” I jumped back, lifting my shirt away from my skin just as the realization dawned on me that Tawny is standing so close, I can smell her perfume.
We both freeze. I can see her chest rising and falling with each breath, and it feels like she’s so near me I could count her eyelashes. Inches are all that remain between me and the woman I once thought would be my wife someday, and I couldn’t bring myself to move if I tried. Her hair is longer than I remember and falls in soft brown waves down her back. I can see the freckles that lightly dot her cheeks and I’m consumed by a memory of laying naked beside her, counting them.
Her pupils dilate, she licks her lips, and fuck, do I ever want to kiss her. The memory of her soft lips on mine is imprinted on my soul. I haven’t been a monk all these years, but no woman has ever come close to making me feel the same level of visceral, physical need that Tawny Michaels does.
“Sorry,” she whispers. “I thought you might need a drink.”
I take a step back, because hearing her soft voice is threatening what little control I still have.
Chapter four
Tawny
Oh my God.Oh. My. God.Mac is so close I could lean forward and lick him. And neither one of us is running away. This close, it’s hard to remember exactly why I have spent so many years avoiding him. His familiar, woodsy scent is overlayed with the tang of the lemonade I just spilled on him, but he still smells like Mac. Like home.
When he takes a step back, my breath comes out in a whoosh.
“I really am sorry about your shirt,” I say as my eyes travel to his chest where the lemonade has made his white T-shirt almost see-through.
Mac just shrugs. “I’ve got a spare in my truck.” He turns away from me and pulls his shirt off, making my jaw drop. When did I start finding back muscles sexy? Now. Right now. Every muscle is clearly defined and glistening slightly in the sun. Even as he’s walking away from me, I’m helplessly drawn to him. It’s not like I ever stopped finding him attractive, but over the years of just seeing him in the odd photo his mother would share with me, I managed to convince myself he couldn’t possibly be that handsome in real life. Boy, was I wrong.
He saunters back over and pulls the clean shirt on. He must see the desire on my face because he shoots me a grin and winks at me.
“Like what you see, Tawny?”
“I, umm, what? No. I just. Here. Drink this.” I thrust the other glass of lemonade at him, flustered. Mac takes a long swallow of the beverage and I watch his throat, fascinated by the sight of his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. He even makes drinking sexy. I’m in trouble. It would be so easy to fall for Mac again. Heck, I never stopped loving him, despite the pain he caused me. And I don’t have anyone to tell me not to make the same mistake twice.
He finishes the glass and hands it back to me. I set both cups down on the steps beside me, not quite ready to leave. Now that I’m near him again, the pull between us is as strong as ever.
Mac watches me carefully, then lifts his ball cap off and on, his signature move when he’s stressed.
“Look, Tawny, I’ll be here for a while helping my parents. We’re going to have to see each other, maybe even have another conversation. So, can we just clear the air now and move on?”
“Clear the air?” I say, surprised. Clear the air from what? Of him cheating on me, breaking my heart, ruining me for any other man? I’m not exactly sure I want to hear this.
“Yeah, I mean, I don’t know why you disappeared back then, but I guess you had a reason. Let’s just talk about it so things can stop being so awkward between us.”
“Why I disappeared?” I realize I’m parroting him, but I’m just so confused. When it dawns on me, I can hardly believe it. Does he honestly think our breakup was all my fault?
“Jesus, Tawny, why are you so surprised? I just want to make things easier for us while I’m here,” he says sharply, glaring at me like I’m being unreasonable.
I put my hands on my hips, furious at him. “What the hell, Mac? You can’t just come here, looking like that, act all flirty, then confuse the heck out of me by asking why I stopped talking to you when you were in Texas, and not expect me to be surprised. Why do youthinkI stopped?!” My voice has risen to a yell by the end my tirade and I can feel the heat rising on my face.
Now I know he’s really upset because he pulls his cap off and tosses it on the ground.
“I don’tknow, Tawny, that’s why I’m asking. Why did you suddenly start to ignore my calls, why the fuck was Rory Montgomery holding you at your parents’ funeral, and why the fuck did youbreak my heart?”
My jaw drops and so do I, straight down onto a stair. My legs can’t hold me up anymore, I’m so shocked by his outburst. I brokehisheart? He shattered mine. But an ugly thread of doubt that I’ve ignored for ten years is weaving through me, growing stronger by the second. I’ve thought about that photo many times over the years. What if I made a big deal out of nothing? Did I ruin us? I’m not sure I want to find out, but I have to.
I take a deep breath. “Sara Hawthorne from high school showed me a picture of you at a party in October, after you left for college. You’d only been gone a couple of months, but it felt like an eternity. You were with a girl. It looked cozy.” I look up at him, and I’m sure my pain is in my eyes, just as his are filled with bewilderment. “It was so hard being away from you. I had no one I could talk to about it and I was already feeling so scared about our future with you being so far away.”
“So, you assumed I cheated on you.” His voice is flat and I wince. It’s becoming increasingly clear to me that I was wrong. That maybeIam to blame for a decade of pain.
“Yes,” I whisper, as my eyes fill with tears. He walks over and sits on the step beside me with a sigh.
