Mac nods his head slowly. “I don’t have that answer, T. I just know I want to try.”
“So do I.”
He presses a kiss to my head and his arms, which are already wrapped around me, squeeze a little tighter, almost as if he’s worried if he doesn’t keep me close I might disappear. I know the feeling; I’m scared I might wake up and find this was all just a dream.
“I’m here for at least a month helping Mom and Dad. Can you give me that month? Give us that time to be together and figure this out?”
His voice is gently pleading and I can tell he’s serious about wanting to make it work. As much as it scares me to think of him leaving in a month and my heart breaking all over again, I have to try. I owe it to him and I owe it to myself.
“Okay,” I say softly.
A smile stretches across his face and it’s as if the clouds parted and the sun is shining down on us; it fills me with such warmth.
He leans down and presses a chaste but loving kiss to my lips, his hands cup my face, his thumbs sweep over my cheeks. When he pulls back, he’s still grinning.
“It’s going to be so amazing being able to take you out on real dates this time,” he says excitedly, and my heart plummets. If everyone knows we’re together, then everyone will know if things don’t work out when he leaves. I don’t know if I can handle the pity, having everyone around me know I’m hurting.
“Can we keep it a secret for just a little while?” I blurt out, and wince when I see his face fall. “At least at first while we figure this out,” I stammer.
“Why?”
I don’t want to tell him. I don’t want to admit that I’m already thinking about the possibility of us ending. Heck, I wish Iwasn’tthinking about this not working out, but I have to be practical. I’ve got to protect myself somehow.
“Well, you know, everyone expects us to still hate each other and avoid each other. Wouldn’t it be weird if all of a sudden, we’re holding hands and kissing in public? Let’s just take it slow.” My reason sounds feeble even to my ears and I know Mac doesn’t like it based on the frown on his face.
“Tawny…” he starts, then he lets out a sigh. “I don’t like it. I want the world to know you’re mine and I’m yours.” Mac pauses again, his head tipped back as he examines the ceiling, looking for an answer. He must find it, because his voice has a resigned acceptance in it when he continues.
“But if that’s the way you want it, then I’ll go along with it. For now.” He shifts to look at me and his eyes are penetrating. “Are you going to tell your sisters?”
“They already know. I mean, they know about our past. But not about us now. They don’t know about today. Obviously. It’s not like I texted them mid-orgasm.” I try to laugh but it comes out forced. “I guess I could tell them we’re trying. It’ll be hard to hide it from them. But no one else, please?”
Mac sighs. I hate that I’ve already upset him and part of me wonders if I’m making a mistake wanting to keep us a secret for now. It doesn’t mean I don’t love him, it just means I’m trying to protect myself if things go wrong. That’s not unreasonable, is it?
Chapter seven
Mac
“Fine, we’ll keep it quiet.”
My voice sounds hollow and to be honest, that’s how I feel. The high of being back together with Tawny is tarnished by her stupid need to keep it secret. I know why she’s doing it; she’s scared. Something tells me that no matter how much I want to push her to go public, this is not the time. We’re too fragile. Which means that if she needs the safety net of keeping our relationship a secret, I’ll let her have it. For now.
She looks relieved. My heart bounces like a goddamn tennis ball, from frustration, to hurt, right back to excitement and joy. Tawny’s here, in my arms, and other parts of my body are noticing the way her hips are nestled in my lap.
She quirks her brow at me. “Oh really?”
I shrug my shoulders and give her the smile that she used to say made her melt. When she turns her body to straddle me, I figure it’s safe to assume it still works. I lean in and gently bite her neck before soothing it with my tongue.
“Really.”
And with just that one word, Tawny’s wildcat side comes out. She may seem cool, calm, and collected to most people, but I know her passionate side. Her crazy, sensual, adventurous side. And that’s the Tawny that’s here now. She whips her shirt off over her head and presses her upper body to my bare chest before capturing my lips in a kiss that is pure fire. I know that when she gets like this, things get…energetic, shall we say. I stand up with her in my hands, intent on heading back into the bedroom. But Tawny has a different idea. She wriggles out of my hands and turns around to lean over the couch, her pert ass right in front of me.
“Take me, Mac.”
Three words shouldn’t hold so much power, but I’ll be damned, do they ever. Our pants are off in an instant and I’m sliding home with a groan.
“Yes, T,” I ground out as she rotates her hips around me in a slow, sensual pattern. She might be thinking that she’s in control this time, but she’s wrong. It’s my turn to show her just how fucking fantastic we are together. My hands dig into her side so tightly, I’m pretty sure I might leave a bruise, so I ease back slightly as I pull my cock almost all the way out of her tight heat, before slamming it back in. Over and over, with the slow pull back and fast thrust in. We hover the line between pleasure and pain, always on the exquisite edge where that little bit of aggression feels so goddamn amazing. In all the years we’ve been apart, I’ve never had a sexual partner who comes even remotely close to getting me and my desires the way Tawny does. We were made for each other. We know each other’s bodies and needs better than we know our own. When to go soft and slow and when to go hard and heavy. I want to fuck every doubt out of her heart, brand her as mine, and never let her go.
I can’t hold on for long, not in this position and definitely not with the sexy moans she’s making and the way she keeps saying my name. I reach down with one hand and rub her clit in tiny circles and when her voice changes, I know she’s close.
