He’s hurting. Angry and hurting. And it’s so achingly familiar to the sense I get from Maverick sometimes. Two boys who were abandoned so young, who grew up in a broken system that never gave them a sense of belonging. Two young men thrust into a world where they had no one to depend on but themselves. It makes me wonder if Colin is the same, or if he somehow found his way to something better. And it breaks my heart to hear even these small crumbs of information about Maverick’s childhood. I suspected it was bad, and Eli’s harsh summary confirms it.
“I know Colin thinks I’m a piece of shit who just takes Mav’s money. And I do. I’m not gonna lie about that. But they left me. They walked out without looking back and they left me in that fucking place with no one.”
“And you’ve spent years blaming them for whatever happened? Whatever bad choices you made were because they aged out before you?” I try to control the sharpness of my voice, to stay calm and compassionate, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let Eli blame Maverick for any of this.
His eyes widen in surprise, then narrow, but only for a second before he drops his gaze to the table. Seizing the moment, I push on.
“Your brother cares about you deeply. Why else would he keep stepping up every time you ask for something? Why would he keep giving you money, even though he knew you weren’t using it for anything good? Why would he keep bailing you out of whatever situation you ended up in if he didn’t care aboutyou? But you’ve been taking advantage of that. Of him. And I think you know that.”
Eli slumps even farther in his chair, mumbling, “Yeah.”
I, on the other hand, sit up straighter, hand wrapped tightly around my coffee mug. The warmth seeps into my hands, strengthening my resolve. Maybe it’s not my place. After all, Maverick and I are still new, despite what it seems like to the rest of the world. But I feel compelled to try and help.
“You know Maverick would do anything for you. So why not ask him for what you truly need?”
Sorrowful brown eyes lift to meet mine, hope flaring in them. “How do you know what I need?”
“Because I’ve worked with people struggling with addiction before. And I know you can hit a point where you’re on a precipice. You either ask for the right kind of help, and commit yourself to that path, or you go the other way. Alone. And from what I can guess, you don’t want to go it alone.”
I watch him swallow, his jaw clenching. It’s up to him now. If I’m right and he wants help for his addiction, I’ll do whatever I can to assist him. I’ll get Maverick on board any way I can, and together we can support Eli the right way.
“You’re a good person,” he says hoarsely after a few silent moments. “My brother’s lucky to have you.” He stands up from the table and pauses, his hand resting on top of his coffee cup. “Thank you.”
I watch him leave the café before slowly exhaling. I have no idea what he’ll do now. But I hope he makes the right decision. And I hope Maverick listens to him when he does.
As I make my way back home, my phone rings. I answer, already smiling.
“Hey, you. I was just thinking about you.”
“You were?” Maverick’s rumbly voice sounds surprised, which simultaneously makes my heart ache and melt. Some day I want him to realize he deserves love and affection. To be important to someone.
“Yeah. You’ll never guess what just happened.” I reach his building and walk inside, feeling light and happy. “Eli came over.”
Chapter thirty-four
Maverick
“Eli came over…”
There’s a ringing in my ears because that’s all I hear. Sure, I know she’s still talking, but I can’t focus on what the fuck she’s saying; my mind is fixated on the fact that my drug-addicted little brother was around my girl again.
“…and I think he might actually be serious. If you want, I can help you research some options, so if he does ask, we’re prepared.”
“What?” I manage to say, the word sounding like it’s someone else talking, not me. “What the fuck did you say?”
She falls silent for a second. “I said, Eli came looking for you, and we went for coffee and talked. And I think he wants to consider treatment for his drug addiction. To get better.”
“I… Jesus, Specs. I don’t want you talking to him. Just,fuck. I’ll be home later. We’ll talk about it then.” Our team manager calls us over for boarding. “Gotta go.”
I hang up without giving her a chance to respond, which is a dick move, but I’m so fucking overwhelmed right now. I know she was trying to help, but my head is a goddamn mess.Shame about how long I enabled Eli’s habit under the guise of “helping him” is warring with the protective instinct that wants to keep Sadie far away from the dark parts of my past. Then the overwhelming guilt that I’m calling my brother a dark part of my past hits, and I feel like I’m drowning from it all.
Fuck. Who the hell knows what he told her about me, about my childhood. For all I know, she’s discovered just how fucked-up my life was and is busy planning her escape.
I could kill Eli for doing this.
Apparently, my fuck off vibes are strong because no one bothers me the entire flight home. I should be glad of that. I know I’d snap the head off anyone who tried to ask me about Sadie right now. But at the same time, a distraction from my fucking thoughts might have helped. Instead, I spent three hours stewing over what the hell I’m gonna do when I get home.
As soon as the plane lands and we’re free to go, I head to my car without so much as a wave at the guys. Once I’m inside, I open my phone.
