“I’m kidding.Most times I have to pull her stories out of her.She lives such an adventurous life.Much more exciting than mine.”
I release Honor’s hand, my eyes snagging on that tattoo again.It’s old enough that the ink has softened slightly at the edges.“I’m very sorry for your loss.”
Honor turns toward the casket.“Thank you.”Then someone else comes up to her.“Excuse me.Thank you for coming.”
Our entire interaction is normal.She seems friendly enough, but something nags at me.
Thankfully, the minister comes in, and the rest of the Hargroves quickly say their goodbyes.Hadley and I take our seats, her hand in mine.
My eyes keep snagging on Honor in the front row.Something about her is familiar.
I try to push it off and just be there for Hadley, who wants to be here for Honor but is teary-eyed as the ceremony goes on.
We get a ride with one of Honor’s grandma’s friends to the house for the reception.I’ve never in my life felt like I was in that much danger.At least if we did get into an accident, we’d only be going ten miles per hour.
Honor’s grandmother’s friends have taken over the kitchen, screened-in porch, and living area.The dining room table is covered in food that people are grazing over while talking about their ailments, grandkids, and what they can and cannot eat now.Dairy seems to be public enemy number one.
Hadley stands with Honor in the corner of the living room, their heads close together in conversation.Honor’s shoulders are down in a way they weren’t at the service, as though she’s finally allowed to exhale.I remember seeing that in my dad and aunts and uncles when my grandma passed too.The guilt of the relief, which makes sense.From what Hadley has said, Honor has put her life on hold for her grandma.
I get a plate and stand near the window.
When I see the hummingbird feeders scattered around the trees in the backyard, I finally connect the tattoo on Honor’s wrist.It’s a hummingbird.
I have no idea why I’m stuck on this, but something is tugging at me.But Honor didn’t act as though she’d met me before.That happens sometimes, someone saysI met you here,and I don’t remember.Maybe she’s hoping I would notice first.
I watch Honor across the room again.
She’s laughing at something Hadley says.Her laugh lines crinkle at the corners of her eyes.
Something shifts in my chest.
I’ve been with a lot of women, and at this point in my life, I’m not proud of the amount.But I’m really hoping this feeling I’m having is for naught.
Hadley breaks apart from Honor, crossing the room, and I’m happy for the distraction.
“I’m just grabbing Honor a drink.Want anything?”She touches my hand but is about to walk away.
“Hey.”I grip her hand a little tighter.“Have I met Honor before?At a bar with you?”
She stops and thinks but shakes her head.“No.She’s had to spend most of her time here.”
Hadley glances around the house and I nod, remembering Hadley telling me how rarely Honor goes into the city.
I’m being paranoid.I shake my head.
Two older women settle into a pair of chairs near the window I’m standing by.We smile politely at one another, neither of them saying anything about who I am.Probably Trojans fans.
They talk about Honor’s grandma and the house for a bit, gossiping about the life she lived.How sad it was at the end.I’m about to walk away, not wanting to eavesdrop on their conversation, when the one wearing a yellow cardigan leans closer to the other one.
“Such a shame.”She thinks she’s whispering, but she’s not.“What will she do now?”
I assume they’re talking about Honor.
The one in jeans says, “My question is what happened to the baby?”
I freeze.I have no idea who they’re talking about or what baby specifically, but my stomach clenches painfully nonetheless.
“One day here, the next day gone.”Yellow Cardigan glances around.“No one realizes how much babies take over your life.”
