I feel my cheeks turn red. The past month has been a blur of sneaking around between games and practices as much as we can afford. When Sawyer’s had sleepovers or afternoons with friends, Seth’s shown up at Natasha’s house, his hoodie still warm from practice and his brown eyes hungry with need. Other nights, I’ve climbed into his bed, not ashamed of what we were doing.
And when we couldn’t see each other in person, between his travel schedule or late nights working, we had our usual standing date nights—watching the Wellingtons or the Grey’s, staying on video call until we both came and one of us fell asleep.
Every night, I’ve offered him some kind of recovery care—massage, heat, dry needling—and every morning, he says he feels better. Says he’s playing better. Says I’m the reason for the saves out on the ice. My dad hasn’t brought up his trade again. I just hope it’s enough to keep him with the Mayhem.
It’s been a lot. In the best kind of way. And I’ve completely, entirely, hopelessly fallen for him during these simple, quiet moments together. I can’t imagine a world without him or Sawyer, and I know I need to tell my dad that just as soon as I know Seth’s safe.
“I like him a lot.”
He grins. “I know.”
I smile and lean back against the counter. “So, is this your go-to when you get suspended? Burglar your brother’s house for a hot meal and company?”
“You mean pick fights with my little brother so I can show up unannounced and pretend I don’t miss him? Yeah.”
“You miss Seth?
“Hell yeah. And Boone. I’m jealous they get to live in the same city. It used to be us three, all the time. And now I’m the one on the outside.”
I soften. “You’re not on the outside, Levi.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. Last time I came to Brookhaven, it got under my skin how distant he is. I talked to Boone, and he said that’s just how Seth is now but this small-town, it’s starting to grow on me.”
I pour a glass of water and nudge it toward him. “It does that. It’s a cute town. Would you ever consider trying to get traded to the Mayhem?”
He tugs at the back of his neck before scooping another forkful of food in his mouth. “I don’t know. It’d be nice to be closer to family.”
I smile, watching him eat like he hasn’t had a home-cooked meal in a month. After a beat, I push off the counter.
“Let me go make up the guest room for you.”
His fork pauses midair, and a big, goofy grin crosses his face. “That’s not where you’ve been sleeping?”
I glance over my shoulder. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
He barks out a loud laugh. “I’m happy for him. Seth deserves someone as good as you.”
The words hit me deep in my chest. Maybe it’s because I don’t have siblings of my own and Levi’s become like a big brother to me the way we’ve texted over the las few months. Or maybe it’s because other than Seth, Levi has always understood my heart. He’s a romantic just like me though he may never admit it out loud.
“Thanks.” I brush hair behind my ear. “I feel like I’m the lucky one. Sawyer’s amazing. I just…” I hesitate, the thought of my dad’s warning flickering at the edge of my tongue. But I keep it to myself. Not because I’m afraid of Levi telling Seth, but because I know Seth trusts me and I don’t want to break his trust by telling his brother something I haven’t discussed with him yet. Especially something this life changing.
He’s opened up so much over the last couple months, peeling back layers I know he’s kept sealed for years. But there are still corners of him I haven’t reached; places he tucks away with careful silence. Maybe he’s scared that if I see all of him, I’ll think the dark parts are too much, but that’s simply not possible. He’s a good man, and I wish he could see himself the way I see him.
“He’s a bit of a tortured soul,” I say finally, almost to myself. “I think he beats himself up more than he should over his last marriage.”
Levi leans back in his chair, nodding. “That’s a good way to put it.” He studies me for a second longer, something thoughtful settling into his expression. “I knew both of Seth’s exes. Elena and…” His jaw ticks. “Rebecca.”
The way he says Sawyer’s mom’s name makes something in my chest still.
“They were good women,” he continues. “But I don’t think either of them ever really saw Seth. Not the way that you do. You look at him differently. Rebecca, well, she wasn’t ready to be a mom when she got pregnant. She loved Sawyer with everything she had, but the pregnancy was unplanned, and I don’t think she would have married him if it weren’t for Sawyer.”
Seth’s shared a little about his relationship with Sawyer’s mother and how young he was when she unexpectedly got pregnant, so this isn’t news to me.
“And Elena, well, she wanted nothing to do with any of it. She was halfway out the door from the moment they got together, I think.”
I exhale slowly. “I know what it’s like to grow up with someone missing. Sawyer deserves more than that. And she’s just so easy to love.”
“She’s lucky to have you.”
