“Yeah,” I rasp out because I might not be as romantic as Bri, but I can see that means a lot to her. I’ve also been married. Twice. And I loved both of my wives in different ways for different reasons. I know what it’s like to want that—the long game. The commitment. The trust. But not just for the length of it like it’s something to brag about. For the goodness that comes with being known so completely by someone else that you want them to be in your family.
To have someone thinking about you when you’re away and checking in.
To come home to someone who gives a damn how your day went.
To have a person who listens. Who doesn’t judge. Who loves you unconditionally—reallyloves you.
Sadly, I’m not sure I got it exactly right with either of my marriages, which is a good reminder at how badly I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to love, romance and connection. A good reminder that I fuck things up.
I clear my throat, trying to shake off the ache that’s creeping into my chest.
“It’s… beautiful,” I tell her. “That type of commitment is rare.”
Brianna’s eyes search mine, and for a split second, I wonder if she can see straight through me—see the part of me that still aches for that kind of everlasting love. But the reality is, some things aren’t made to last. And that’s where the pain is. In the loss.
She offers me a soft smile.
“Yeah. It’s romantic. Even if it is porn.” Her voice is barely a whisper, her eyes drifting back to the TV where Mr. and Mrs. Wellington are still locked in their marital bliss, frozen on the screen.
“But Bri…” I murmur, my voice softer now as I brush a lock of her light brown hair from her cheek, staring into her eyes, “not all marriages are like that.”
Her eyes finally flicker to mine. “Were yours?”
Dammit. I set myself up for that question. I roll onto my back, breaking our gaze as I stare up at the hotel room ceiling to mirror her posture.
“No.”
Not even close.
“I loved Sawyer’s mom.” I swallow hard, feeling the familiar ache that comes when I think about everything that happened crawl up at my throat. “But our start was… complicated.”
Bri doesn’t say anything, but I can feel the bed shift as she rolls onto her side to watch me. I continue staring at the ceiling, working through my words.
“I was only twenty years old when I got her pregnant. She was twenty-one. We’d only been together for a couple of months, and it wasn’t going anywhere serious. I was just entering the league.”
And then everything changed when we found out she was pregnant. My dreams for my career, my plans, everything was different because now I had a girlfriend and baby depending on me.
“We made it work, though. For Sawyer. And for each other. We… we grew to love each other after the wedding and Sawyer.”
Bri nods softly, her expression gentle. “It was a short marriage?”
“Yeah. We got married when Sawyer was one… but it only lasted for two years before she passed away.”
There’s silence. It stretches between us until I roll onto my side to look at her. Her eyes are dark as they search my face, real empathy etched there. It reminds me of the lack of understanding my ex-wife gave me the first time I told her about Sawyer’s mom. Bri’s always met this discussion with so much grace and understanding. I’ve never met anyone so compassionate.
“I’m so sorry, Seth.”
I nod.
“And then Elena…” I let out a slow breath, dragging a hand down my face. “She came into Sawyer’s life when she was about ten. I thought… I don’t know. I thought it was what Sawyer needed. I thought I needed to give her a mom, like she was lacking something growing up without one since her mom passed away.”
I wonder if Bri is thinking about how terrible this sounds. “I’m not sure I ever loved her. I think it was the idea of her. We were married for eleven months, separated for about five or six of those. Divorce was finalized right before I met you Halloween night. She said being a stepmom wasn’t what she thought it’d be.”
Bri stays quiet, but I can see the brief flicker of anger that flares in her eyes.
“I think she liked the doors I opened for her more than she liked being me and Sawyer. Guess I’m not a great husband, either.”
“You’ll love again.” She says it with no hesitancy. Four words that hit me right in the chest because I’m not sure I will. At least, not in the way that I think a woman like Bri deserves to be loved. Without baggage or history that drags them down.
