"I’m at the office with Victoria still, and it might be a late one that turns into an early one tomorrow morning.There are a lot of files to go through."
"I don't know how much help I can be with that, but if you need a ride in the morning or even want me to bring you some coffee, let me know."
Alison breathed in the aroma of the sweet crema rising from the espresso and smiled."I don't think that’ll be a problem.They have great coffee here."
"Good."
"Hey, anything yet about the skin sample?"Alison asked.
"No," Derek said sadly."We’ll get the results at some point, but it’s a waiting game right now.There wasn’t much to work with, and with it taking this long, perhaps the sample was contaminated.As soon as the results come through, you’ll get a call."
"I should go," Alison said."Victoria said that she had something for me.I’m going to talk with her now."
"Okay, get some rest if you can, and either way, I’ll hopefully see you tomorrow."
"Goodnight," Alison said.
"Goodnight."
Alison stuck the phone back in her pocket and took the small cup with her to Victoria’s office.When she entered, she half-turned to close the door behind her, and then remembered they were alone in the office and she didn't need to.
Victoria finished typing something as Alison sat down, and then turned her attention to her.
"How’s the coffee?"Victoria asked.
Alison almost laughed.It felt as if she were there for a performance review or an interview.
"I haven’t tasted it yet, but if it tastes half as good as it smells, it’ll be great."
"I want to repeat this to you, and it’s very important that you listen," Victoria said with the tone she always used when talking about important matters.She always lowered her voice a little and enunciated every word."You are not letting anyone die.I don't know a lot about the case, but I know enough about you to know that’s the truth.You have a drive in you to protect people, and you have never been responsible for any death.I know about the Reno case, and even if that was connected to you and your past, that was not your fault, andthisis not your fault.If someone is killing because of something you have done or not done, that is not your fault.That is squarely on them.So, I want you to try and put it out of your mind, and figure out now how you save people because that is what you do."
Alison let out a small sigh.She looked at Victoria across the desk, one of her oldest friends, and not only that, but one of the people she trusted most in the world.Alison knew the woman was right, but she also knew she would have a hard time not blaming herself for what had happened over the last month.The best recourse was to do what she did with Nathan Cross: catch the killer.
Alison mustered a smile before taking a sip of the espresso, which did a lot to lift her mood.
Victoria sat across the desk from Alison, pinning her with a sharp stare."Don't doubt yourself, Alison."
"I know," Alison replied.
"Do you?"Victoria asked."Two people are dead, and that’s because someone thinks you were wrong.It’s human to doubt.I know I would consider that I was wrong, and then I would like to think that I would come to the conclusion that I was right in my decision, perhaps guided by someone I trust."
"I see what you’re saying," Alison said with a grimace and another sip of the rich espresso.
"I know you do, and I hope you really consider my words.You’ll lose sleep over this, but don't lose confidence.You’re one of the greatest minds I have ever worked with, and you make mistakes like the rest of us, but not to the extent this killer is suggesting.Is it possible that you helped release someone early who didn't deserve it?Yes, that’s possible, but I still think it's unlikely.Two?More?No, I don't believe that one bit.This is the killer’s trauma being played out."
Alison breathed out through her nose and placed her cup on the table.She looked down at her feet and the carpet below before looking up, but not at Victoria.She had a lot of confidence in herself and her work, but slipped into these crises of confidence every so often.
"I wonder about my own trauma," Alison said."Everything I do is clouded by my sister.I’ve been looking for her killer for as long as I can remember, and it does cloud my judgment sometimes.I’m waiting for some news from Derek, and it’s on my mind all the time when I should be thinking about this case."
Alison rubbed her forehead, pushing the skin back and forth until she was sure a red mark would be left behind.
"Dr.Keller," Alison stated, the name popping into her head."Do you remember him?"
"Of course," Victoria replied.
"He once told me that I had to detach myself from any case, especially my sisters, or I would drive myself crazy with the emotion of it.I know he meant it to be compassionate, but…maybe hewasright."
"Yes, possibly," Victoria said."When it comes to cases, it's best to look at them with a national, unemotional viewpoint.Still, your sister's case is far different from any regular case."
