Memories of our almost-kiss flooded my mind full force. I was so used to analyzing things, and the entirety of the day since then, that’s exactly what I’d been doing. But I hadn’t yet come to the acceptance of the most glaring fact that I was faced with—I’dwantedhim to kiss me.
That was the short of it, the sum total of all the confusion and panic and worry that I’d been dealing with so far.
I’d been attracted to him since I first saw him, more so the more I got to know about him. And now…now I didn’t want to overthink. I didn’t want to think at all. I tossed the clothes I was holding to the side, and when he heard the thud as they landed on the boathouse floor, his eyes slowly, hesitatingly, returned back to me.
“This couldn’t have been done in an email?” I asked. He liked me bold, didn’t he? He’d said I needed to work on my confidence, believe in my ideas. I had a few right now that I thought he might like.
“I wanted to apologize to you in person,” he said, the words coming out heavy and falling like cinderblocks. His eyes raked down the length of my naked and wet body, drinking me in.
“To make sure it won't happen again?” I asked.
“Yes.” He took a step towards me; careful, calculated. He was giving me an out, reciprocating the action I’d taken by staying naked. This was a back-and-forth the way we’d previously exchanged ideas.
“And you don’t want it to?” I asked and this time I took a step forward.
I could see the quiet hitch of his chest as his breathing deepened. His face looked tortured, like the same kind of conflict I’d been battling all day was showing in his expression. But part of me had been angry with him for pulling away the way he did.
Part of me wanted revenge.
“I shouldn’t,” he answered. We were close enough now that if either one of us reached out an arm, we would touch. I looked down and saw that he was hard in his pants. My breath caught in my throat but I said nothing.
I wasn’t sure what to do after the teasing. I didn’t have that much experience behind me, and now I was being thrown into a practical that no amount of theory could ever possibly prepare me for.
“You’re holding back,” I noted, not sure what else to say but the truth. “You want this just as much as I do, don’t you?”
He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. All the rules I’d lived by, sworn by, suddenly disintegrated in that campus boathouse. For the first time I just didn’t care.
Lucas broke first and I let him.
He closed the remaining gap between us and wrapped a hand in my wet hair, tilting my head to the side and bringing his mouth to mine. A low moan clawed its way out of my throat, muffled by the kiss.
He kissed me like he was mirroring the same emotions I was feeling—curiosity, fear, longing. But above all, he kissed me like he washungry.
I could feel both of our walls breaking, all the pressure of expectations and perfectionism melting into desire. Burning under it.
My arms came up and wrapped around his neck and I pressed my body as close to his as I could. He groaned at the feeling, pulling back just enough to be able to bite my bottom lip and pull lightly.
“You are such a bad idea,” he said, voice darker and more husky than I’d ever heard it.
“Maybe,” I admitted, reaching up to kiss him again.
He backwalked us until he had me up against the nearest wall, my legs wrapping around his waist as his kisses trailed to my cheek, then my jaw. I felt the tip of his tongue trace the outer shape of my ear and I shuddered against him.
“Off,” I demanded, breathless as I tugged on his jacket. “Please.”
He made a sound that bordered on a growl, then shucked off his clothing. I grabbed at them too, desperate to feel his skin against mine. There was no more pretending that this was anything other than what it was.
His impatience rivalled mine but his stubbornness won out.
He slid down my body, peppering kisses on my still-wet skin, his tongue snaking out to taste me until he reachedhis destination between my thighs. I gulped hard, uncertain. Suddenly now, with him staring up at me with dark, eager eyes, clarity pierced through the haze of my lust.
“Wait, Lucas, I didn’t shower—” My words were cut off by a gasp as he put his mouth on me without any hesitation.
My mouth fell open, my head dropping back against the wall behind me. If I thought he was hungry before, he was absolutely starving now. I tried holding onto whatever purchase I could find to steady me, and his hands immediately gripped my hips to keep me upright.
Bit by bit, I felt my body unwind like a spool of wire. After a lifetime of toeing the line, I’d finally jumped right over it. Nothing else mattered but the feeling of his tongue, the pleasure that swept over my body in waves.
My mind went blank.
