I knew that he was teasing but there was still the tiniest flicker of guilt that brought heat to my cheeks. “No. It hasn’t.”
Ronan chuckled. “I’d have been disappointed if it did. Knowing what you truly want is an artform.”
“Well, I’ve finally accepted what I want.”
He looked at me expectantly.
“I would never have thought it was possible to feel the way that I do. Whenever I thought of love it always seemed so static and all-consuming. Like it was this big, powerful force that could only ever truly belong to one person” I confessed. Ronan listened to me intently. “At the start of all this, I thought it was just attraction, plain and simple. But the way I feel now… The truth is that my feelings for all three of you have moved beyond just physical attraction. And that’s a lot to grapple with.”
I felt almost hollow in the wake of what I’d just admitted. It was the first time I’d ever said that out loud to another person and for a brief moment, I felt the urge to hide. But then I felt the side of Ronan’s hand as he curled his pinky around mine, binding us together. It was such a small gesture, completely inconspicuousto the rowdy crowd around us but to me, it felt as grounding as an anchor.
It was a small reminder that he was here, with me, sharing this moment with me. And I instantly felt safe. And when I looked up at him, I saw all the reassurance I would ever need written on his face. Reassurance that I wasn’t crazy, that I didn’t need to be ashamed of myself and that he wasn’t going anywhere.
“You know, love is too big of an experience to confine to pragmatism” he said, his gaze drifting off to the side discretely. When his eyes returned to me, I could see the playfulness returning. “However, physical attraction does still play a big role, don’t you think?”
I followed his line of thinking, suddenly in desperate need of somewhere quieter and even an iota more private. The day would come where I could just kiss him out in the open and not have to worry about anyone seeing it. But until then, we’d have to make do with abandoned parking lots and after-hour library rendezvous.
Or, in our case, the back area of the outlying sampling village tent he’d just spotted.
I didn’t look around or keep my head on a swivel as though I had something to hide. Instead I smoothed my step, barely glancing at him as we moved towards our destination.
Fortunately for us, the time was drawing near for the entertainment program and many of the spectators were now moving closer to the central area of the park. We’d barely made it out of the general line of visibility before Ronan pulled me into his arms and kissed me.
My arms twined around his neck and I immediately rose to my tiptoes, swept up in the feeling of it all. The noise of the crowd only added to the sense of danger; a sweetener, if anything. Asthe kiss deepened, Ronan grabbed my leg and wrapped it around his waist.
“If there was somewhere more private…” he breathed in the brief moments we pulled apart. I giggled.
“And here I thought exhibitionism was something that might appeal to you,” I teased.
“One of these days it might,” he warned. He wrapped a hand in my hair, pulled my body even tighter against his. Despite the cold weather swirling around us, I felt like I was burning up from the inside. “I want everyone to know who you belong to.”
*
“Give it a minute before you head out,” I said, straightening out my clothes. My head was still spinning from the intense makeout session we’d just had, and I was hoping that my friends might mistake the flush on my skin for a reaction to the cold. Ronan wore a shit-eating grin, sweeping out a grand hand.
“Of course. Enjoy the rest of the evening with your friends,” he said.
I rolled my eyes before braving the public eye again, fresh adrenaline still pumping through my veins. But as I approached my waving friend group, I noticed a familiar face staring at me. I didn’t recognize him at first, but the closer I got, the more his features started becoming apparent.
The bald head, obscene in this weather, was definitely the most defining feature.
It was Professor Johnson.
27
~
June
“Okay, you’re looking at business casual or soft business formal,” Madison said, rifling through my closet. “We want something that matches the dress code of the company, but doesn’t look like you’re trying too hard. Ooh, this could work.”
She pulled out a mock neck and a pair of pants, tossing them over to me before turning back to my wardrobe and pursing her lips. “You’ll need a decent jacket. Wait a second.”
She ran out to her bedroom and came back with one of her own long wool overcoats. It fit nicely with the rest of the outfit but I could barely even focus on that right now. Not when it felt like I could barely breathe. I was sweaty too, trying to fan myself with a hand that wouldn’t stop trembling. In other words, I was a complete and utter mess.
Mads finally noticed, propping a hand on her hip.
“No,” she said, pointing at me. “We’re not doing that again, remember? This isn’t who you are anymore. What happened to the take-no-prisoners chick who sent me to my parents with the promise of committing grand theft auto if I wanted to come back?”
