“What happened?”
Severin’s throat tightened.Hedidn’t want to say it, but the secret had become a poison.Maybeit always had been.
“We kissed.TheTenebrianwoman told us to,” he said.“Shesaid we were beautiful together and that we should kiss for her.Raviklaughed at first, as though it was a game.Thenhe looked at me andIknew…Gods,Iknew he wanted it as much asIdid.”
“So you kissed him,”Cassandraasked.“That’sall?”
“Yes.”Thememory rose inside him, bright and painful.“Itwas only one kiss.Notlong.Notenough and yet too much.Forone foolish momentIthought maybe we would speak of it afterward.Maybewe would admit that something had changed.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No.”Severinopened his eyes and stared across the suite.“Thenext morning, he said we had drunk too muchGoldsheillale.Isaid clearly we had.Andthat was the end of it.”
Cassandra made a soft sound of sympathy.
“Oh,Severin.”
He shook his head.
“I let it be the end becauseIwas a coward too.Itold myself thatRavikneeded the lie.Itold myself he would never survive facing the truth, and perhapsIwas right.”Helooked at her.“ButIalsoneeded the lie,Cassandra.Becauseif he had rejected me outright,Idon’t know what it would have done to me.”
She reached up and touched his cheek.
“You’ve loved him all this time.”
Severin went very still.Hecould have denied it—once, he would have.Hewould have saidRavikwas his friend, his shield-brother, his comrade—the male he trusted more than anyone else in the universe.Allof that was true—every bit of it.
But that wasn’t all.Andnow he had to admit it.
“Yes,” he said at last.“I’veloved him for years.Maybesince the first minute he beat up the bullies that were hurting me.”
“Severin…”
“I know what you’re going to say.”Heshook his head.“Thatlove isn’t wrong.Thatwanting him isn’t wrong.Thatall the old rules are stupid and cruel and probably written by people who never had to deal with zombie viruses and owl doctors and medically necessary alien sex suites.”
A tearful laugh broke from her lips.
“Well, yes.Somethinglike that.”
He brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb.
“I love you too, you know,Cassandra.”
“OhSeverin…”Shewas nibbling her lower lip and her cheeks were flushed.
He looked down at her, letting the truth out—not hiding from it.
“I don’t know when it happened exactly.Perhapsin the bunker when you kept trying to be brave while your whole world had fallen apart.Perhapswhen you madeRavikremember himself just by letting him hold you.Perhapswhen you looked at both of us and still managed to make jokes about the horny zombie crises instead of collapsing under the weight of it all.”
She gave a shaky laugh.
“Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.”
“Yes, you do.”Hismouth softened.“Butyes,Ilove you.AndIlove him.Andyou brought us together in a wayInever thought possible.Thatis why this hurts so much.”
Cassandra lowered her head against his chest again.
“I love both of you, too,” she whispered.
